Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 内容直接并有例子，但句子有些啰嗦与语法不够准确。建议：1) 简化句子结构，先给主题句再补充具体例子；2) 修正语法（如“who I loved”应为“whom I loved”或更自然的“my family/friends”）；3) 控制在3-4句内，使表述更自然流畅。

例: Yes. My parents taught me to share from an early age. For instance, whenever I had a particularly sweet watermelon, I would always cut pieces for my friends and family so we could enjoy it together.

提案: 回答内容清晰但表达有重复和用词错误（“bumped into”用法不当，双重‘during’），并且最后一句应更自然。建议：1) 用更准确词汇（meet/come across/encounter）；2) 避免重复词并用连接词组织信息；3) 如要提及负面情绪，简短说明对方反应或分享原因。

例: I usually share highlights from my daily life and interesting things I come across during the week. I also sometimes talk about difficult or sad experiences so my friends can give advice or support.

提案: 回答不完整，句子在结尾中断，且表达笼统。建议：1) 给出明确主题句并补充具体原因或例子；2) 使用连接词如“because”后接完整理由；3) 尽量举例（隐私、个人财务、健康问题等）。

例: I think personal or sensitive issues, like someone’s health problems or financial difficulties, should not be shared. You shouldn’t gossip about them behind their back because it can hurt their feelings and damage trust.

提案: 回答意思明确但句子冗长且有语法问题（时态和词序）。建议：1) 开门见山说明是什么经历（简要描述）；2) 用两句分开描述原因和朋友反应；3) 注意时态一致。

例: Yes. Recently I had an interesting and educational experience at work: I solved a difficult problem that saved us time. I told the story to my friends after dinner and they really enjoyed hearing about it.

提案: 回答包含理由但存在表达不自然（“she is A”不明，“reacts funny”应为“reacts in a funny way”或“reacts amusingly”）。建议：1) 明确描述该人并解释理由；2) 使用自然短语描述她的反应；3) 控制句子长度并避免模糊词。

例: I would tell my best friend first because she is very fun and always reacts in a funny, enthusiastic way to my stories. Sharing news with her always makes me feel happy.

提案: 回答内容宽泛且语法不太准确（“All shared news in my life”不自然，“discuss about”应为“discuss”）。建议：1) 分类说明（个人生活、工作/学习、国际新闻）；2) 用连接词组织句子；3) 给一个具体例子说明讨论内容。

例: I share personal updates from my daily life, such as work or study experiences, and sometimes interesting global news I see in videos. For example, we recently discussed a documentary about climate change and exchanged opinions about its impact.

× Yes, they taught me very early that whenever I got something I really like, I should share with my friends or parents who I loved.

✓ Yes, they taught me very early that whenever I got something I really liked, I should share it with my friends or parents whom I loved.

句中描述的是过去发生的习惯（taught, got），因此内部从句的动词也应使用过去时态“liked”。另外“share with my friends or parents who I loved”存在关系代词与先行词搭配不当，改为“parents whom I loved”更符合正式用法；并补上宾语“it”。建议：在描述过去习惯时，保持从句动词时态一致；关系代词选择要与先行词的语法角色一致（who→主格，whom→宾格），口语中可简化为“who I loved”但书面上用whom更准确。

× I like to share about my daily life or some interesting things that I'm bumped into during during the week.

✓ I like to share about my daily life or some interesting things that I bump into during the week.

此句为一般现在时表达习惯或经常发生的事情，因此从句应使用一般现在时“bump into”，而不是现在进行时“I'm bumped into”。另外有重复单词“during during”。建议：描述经常发生的动作用一般现在时，注意删除重复词。

× What's more, I would also talk about my sad things.

✓ What's more, I would also talk about the things that make me sad.

原句“my sad things”结构不自然，缺乏明确意义。改为“the things that make me sad”更清楚地表达“使我难过的事情”。建议：避免直接把情感形容词与名词并列成不常用短语，用定语从句或名词短语来明确意义。

× When others meet some bad experiences, we shouldn't talk about it behind their back because.

✓ When others have bad experiences, we shouldn't talk about them behind their backs.

“meet some bad experiences”表达不自然，改为“have bad experiences”；“it”指代不明确，应改为复数“them”；短语“behind their back”需用复数“behind their backs”与复数主语一致；句尾出现孤立的“because”无完成从句，需删除或补全。建议：注意代词指代一致，避免不完整的从句，并使用更地道的动词短语。

× Yes, one experience during my work is very interesting and even educational, so I like to share with my friends after our dinner about my work and all of them like this story very much.

✓ Yes, one experience at work was very interesting and even educational, so I shared it with my friends after our dinner and they all liked the story very much.

句子时间背景是过去，需将“is”改为过去时“was”；随后动作也应为过去时“shared”，“like”改为过去时“liked”；“during my work”不自然，改为“at work”；“share with my friends after our dinner about my work”语序混乱，改为“shared it with my friends after our dinner”。建议：叙述过去的经历时保持全句时态一致，并注意信息的逻辑顺序及代词（it）使用。

× That must be my best girlfriend because she is A and very interesting person who reacts funny towards my story and I always have a good time with her.

✓ That must be my best girlfriend because she is a very interesting person who reacts funnily to my stories, and I always have a good time with her.

“she is A and very interesting person”中“A”不明且缺冠词，改为“a very interesting person”；“reacts funny”副词使用错误，应为副词“funnily”或更自然地用“reacts in a funny way”或“has funny reactions”；“towards my story”习惯用法为“to my stories”。建议：注意形容词/副词的正确使用及冠词，表达反应时用副词或固定短语更地道。

× All shared news in my life during the daily work or study.

✓ I share all kinds of news from my daily work or studies.

原句缺少主语和谓语，结构不完整；“during the daily work or study”表达不自然，改为“from my daily work or studies”。建议：确保句子包含完整主语和谓语，使用更自然的介词短语表达来源。

× Or I will talk about some global news that reported in the video and we will discuss about the topic.

✓ Or I will talk about some global news that is reported in videos, and we will discuss the topic.

“that reported in the video”缺少被动结构助动词，应为“that is reported in videos”或“reported in a video”；“discuss about”错误，动词“discuss”不需要“about”；将“the video”改为复数“videos”更通用，或根据上下文改为“a video”。建议：注意被动语态的构成及动词与介词的搭配。