Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly, then explain the restriction clearly. Your response seems to confuse rules for riding a bike with the minimum age for driving a car. Avoid fillers and correct unclear phrases such as “bike girl” and “over eating.”

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. My parents were quite strict about letting me ride on the road, so I usually walked or took the bus instead.

提案: Give a clear reason and develop it with one specific example. Replace unclear phrases such as “travel in a shorter length” and “I love school” with natural expressions, and avoid repeating words. You could mention commuting, short journeys, or school cycling events.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they’re convenient for short trips and help people avoid traffic. Many students cycle to school, and some schools also organize cycling races.

× No, I actually didn't ride a bike girl when I was a child because of the restrictions.

✓ No, I actually didn't ride a bike when I was a child because of the restrictions.

The word girl does not fit grammatically in this sentence and makes the sentence structure unclear. Remove it unless you intended to say as a girl, in which case you could say: I didn't ride a bike when I was a girl.

× The government passed that uh, there is a limit, uh, before you use, uh, before you drive, I mean, because you have to be over eating.

✓ The government passed a law stating that you had to be over eighteen before you could ride a bike.

In this meaning, passed needs a noun object, such as a law or a rule; it cannot be followed directly by that. The original sentence also contains an incomplete and unclear structure. State the rule in a complete clause, and use had to and could to keep the explanation in the past tense.

× There's some of them.

✓ There are some of them.

Use are, not is, because the noun phrase some of them is plural. For example, say there are some of them when introducing more than one person or thing.

× Some travel in a shorter length and there's some of them. I love school. Uh, take part in races in, in bike races at 3:00 and it's very popular in my country.

✓ Some people travel shorter distances, and some of them take part in bike races. Bike racing is very popular in my country.

The original contains incomplete and disconnected clauses, including take part in races without a clear subject. Connect the ideas using complete clauses with explicit subjects. The phrase shorter distances is also the natural way to express this comparison.