Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly, then give one or two clear reasons. Use natural expressions such as “good at finding my way” instead of “good at looking directions,” and “I had poor balance” instead of “I’m a really imbalanced person.” The final sentence is unclear; explain briefly how the crowded streets in Taipei affected your experience. Keep the answer to no more than five sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child. I wasn’t very good at balancing, so I found it difficult to ride one. Also, I grew up in Taipei, where the streets were often crowded.

提案: Give a clear overall opinion instead of calling the question difficult, and finish your answer with a complete conclusion. Avoid repeating fillers such as “I think,” “generally speaking,” and “to be honest.” Clarify the contrast: cycling may be popular in Taiwan overall, while fewer people ride in crowded Taipei. Use a linking phrase such as “however” to make that contrast clear.

例: Yes, I’d say bikes are fairly popular in Taiwan, especially in smaller cities and for short trips. However, fewer people cycle in Taipei because the roads are crowded and traffic can be heavy. Many people there use public transport instead.

× First of all is I was not a person that is really good at looking directions.

✓ First of all, I was not a person who was really good at following directions.

The phrase First of all is is not a grammatical way to introduce the reason. Remove is so the sentence has a clear subject and verb.

× First of all is I was not a person that is really good at looking directions.

✓ First of all, I was not a person who was really good at looking at directions.

The verb look needs the preposition at before its object. Following directions is another natural way to express this idea.

× First of all is I was not a person that is really good at looking directions.

✓ First of all, I was not a person who was really good at following directions.

The answer describes the student's childhood, so the past-tense verb was is more consistent than is.

× And also I'm a really imbalanced person when I'm on a transport.

✓ Also, I was really unbalanced when I was on a bike.

The question is about childhood, so use past-tense verbs to describe that experience: was rather than am. Use when I was to keep the time reference consistent.

× When I'm on a bike, I just couldn't balance myself.

✓ When I was on a bike, I just couldn't balance myself.

The sentence describes a past experience. Use was instead of am to keep the tense consistent with couldn't.

× So it also in Taiwan, Taipei such which is a crowded place.

✓ That was also the case in Taipei, Taiwan, which is a crowded place.

The original sentence is missing a clear verb phrase after it, and the phrase such which does not form a grammatical clause. The correction gives the sentence a complete structure and uses which to add information about Taipei.

× To be honest, I think generally speaking, most of the people in Taiwan they like to ride bikes, but that like what I mentioned earlier, Taipei is a crowded city, so not of not a lot of people ride bikes, so I wouldn't say

✓ To be honest, I think that, generally speaking, most people in Taiwan like to ride bikes, but, as I mentioned earlier, Taipei is a crowded city, so not many people ride bikes. I wouldn't say...

The subject most people in Taiwan is already complete, so the extra pronoun they is unnecessary. Also, that cannot correctly refer to the following clause in but that like what I mentioned earlier; use as I mentioned earlier to introduce the reference.

× To be honest, I think generally speaking, most of the people in Taiwan they like to ride bikes, but that like what I mentioned earlier, Taipei is a crowded city, so not of not a lot of people ride bikes, so I wouldn't say

✓ To be honest, I think that, generally speaking, most people in Taiwan like to ride bikes, but, as I mentioned earlier, Taipei is a crowded city, so not many people ride bikes. I wouldn't say...

Not of not a lot of people is not a grammatical quantifier phrase. Use not many people or not a lot of people. The ellipsis indicates that the transcript cuts off before the thought is complete.