Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly, then finish the story with a clear result. Your answer trails off after “while I was turning on a curb,” so the listener does not know what happened. Avoid repeating “bike” and “riding,” and use a natural phrase such as “turning near a curb.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was about six or seven. I was still using training wheels, and I fell while turning near a curb. After that, I felt nervous about riding, so I never really learned.

提案: Your answer gives relevant reasons, but improve word choice and grammar: say “riders” or “delivery workers,” not “writers,” and “especially” rather than “specially.” Replace informal “and stuff” with a specific example, and make the comparison between delivery workers and students clearer.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in cities. Many food-delivery workers use them because they are convenient in traffic, and a lot of university students ride bikes to get around campus.

× Yes, when I was about six or seven years old, I did have a bike, but I never truly learned how to ride one because the first or second time that I was riding my bike, I had my training wheels on, but then while I was turning on a curb.

✓ Yes, when I was about six or seven years old, I did have a bike, but I never truly learned how to ride it. The first or second time I rode it, I still had my training wheels on, and then I turned onto a curb.

The original sentence ends with a while-clause, but it does not complete the thought introduced by while, so the sentence is structurally incomplete. Rephrasing it as and then I turned onto a curb gives the final idea a complete clause. Onto is also the clearer preposition when describing movement toward and onto a curb.