Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly, then add one clear supporting detail. Use the natural phrase “when I was a child” instead of “in my childhood,” and replace unclear wording such as “started turning” with what you mean. Avoid “one bicycle”; say “a bike.” Finish your thought rather than ending with “or.”

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child, although I really wanted one. When I was older, I finally bought one and used it to exercise in my free time.

提案: Give a clear answer and explain why bikes are popular using complete, well-organized sentences. Correct “commune vehicle” to “common mode of transport,” and use linking words such as “because” or “as a result.” Avoid repeating ideas, and complete the final sentence with a specific benefit.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in India, especially in busy cities. Since the roads are often congested, many people use them to get around more quickly. They are also relatively affordable and easy to park.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was in my childhood.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child.

The phrase in my childhood is not the natural preposition pattern here. Use as a child to describe the period when you were young, or say during my childhood.

× Uh, that's why when I grew up and started turning, I did buy one bicycle and during my leisure time I tried to spend it by working out or.

✓ Uh, that's why, when I grew up and started turning, I bought a bicycle. During my leisure time, I tried to spend time working out.

The original sentence ends with or, which leaves the thought unfinished, and spend it has an unclear reference. Complete the thought and name the activity or time you mean. The phrase started turning is grammatically possible, but its intended meaning is unclear.

× Yes, bikes are quite common in my country as there as it plays an important commune vehicle for many as roads are congested here in India people definitely use bikes for their travel purpose and it makes their.

✓ Yes, bikes are quite common in my country because they are an important means of transportation for many people. Since the roads are congested here in India, people definitely use bikes to travel.

The subject bikes is plural, so it should be referred to as they, not it. Use a plural verb with this plural subject. The corrected version also makes the incomplete clause grammatically complete.

× Yes, bikes are quite common in my country as there as it plays an important commune vehicle for many as roads are congested here in India people definitely use bikes for their travel purpose and it makes their.

✓ Yes, bikes are quite common in my country because they are an important means of transportation for many people. Since the roads are congested here in India, people definitely use bikes to travel.

The original contains several clauses joined without clear grammatical connections, and the final phrase it makes their is incomplete. Separate the ideas into complete sentences and avoid leaving a clause unfinished.