Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ตอบตรงคำถามและมีรายละเอียดที่ช่วยให้คำตอบน่าสนใจ เช่น สีของจักรยานและการฝึกขี่กับพ่อแม่ อย่างไรก็ตาม ควรตัดคำซ้ำ “yellow” และปรับไวยากรณ์เป็น “every evening” และ “after school” หากเล่าถึงความรู้สึกในอดีต ให้ใช้ “I felt proud and confident in myself” นอกจากนี้ “ride by myself” อาจฟังซ้ำความหมายกับ “without help” ควรเลือกใช้เพียงอย่างใดอย่างหนึ่ง

例: Yes, I had a medium-sized yellow bike that my parents gave me. They also taught me how to ride it, and I used to cycle around my neighborhood every evening after school. I felt proud that I could ride on my own.

提案: ให้ความคิดเห็นชัดเจนและยกเหตุผลได้ตรงประเด็น แต่ควรหลีกเลี่ยงการใช้ “in my country” ซ้ำ และแก้ “a private cars” เป็น “private cars” หรือ “a private car” ใช้ “take public transport” แทน “take up public transport” และปรับช่วงท้ายให้เป็นธรรมชาติ เช่น “especially during the hotter months, when cycling is uncomfortable” หากหมายถึงรถไฟฟ้า ควรเขียน “the Skytrain”

例: No, I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country. The extreme heat and air pollution make cycling uncomfortable, so many people prefer to drive or use public transport, such as the Skytrain. Cycling may be more appealing during cooler months.

× I used to ride around my neighborhood in every evening after the school.

✓ I used to ride around my neighborhood every evening after school.

Use no preposition before every evening, and omit the before school when referring generally to the activity of attending school. These are fixed time expressions.

× I used to ride around my neighborhood in every evening after the school.

✓ I used to ride around my neighborhood every evening after school.

The definite article the is not normally used before school when referring to the general activity or routine of attending school. Say after school.

× I feel proud and confident with myself that I can ride by myself without help.

✓ I felt proud and confident in myself because I could ride on my own without help.

The student is describing a childhood experience, so the past tense felt is appropriate. Could also fits the past-time context better than can.

× I feel proud and confident with myself that I can ride by myself without help.

✓ I felt proud and confident in myself because I could ride on my own without help.

The usual preposition after confident when describing belief in your own abilities is in, not with. Use confident in myself.

× So in my country, people usually drive a private cars or take up public transport, such as Sky Train, especially when the season that cycling is not comfortable.

✓ So in my country, people usually drive private cars or take public transport, such as the SkyTrain, especially during seasons when cycling is uncomfortable.

Cars is plural, so it cannot be used with the singular article a. Use private cars without an article, or use a private car.

× So in my country, people usually drive a private cars or take up public transport, such as Sky Train, especially when the season that cycling is not comfortable.

✓ So in my country, people usually drive private cars or take public transport, such as the SkyTrain, especially during seasons when cycling is uncomfortable.

The article a cannot be used before the plural noun cars. Remove a when using the plural form private cars.

× So in my country, people usually drive a private cars or take up public transport, such as Sky Train, especially when the season that cycling is not comfortable.

✓ So in my country, people usually drive private cars or take public transport, such as the SkyTrain, especially during seasons when cycling is uncomfortable.

The phrase when the season that does not form a grammatical clause. Use during seasons when to introduce the time, and follow it with the clause cycling is uncomfortable.