Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Відповідь містить доречну особисту історію, але граматичні помилки ускладнюють розуміння: велосипед не може «struggle to learn», а фраза «So see» тут недоречна. Дайте пряму відповідь, а потім коротко поясніть, що вам було важко навчитися їздити й тому велосипед продали. Використовуйте природні сполучники, наприклад «but» і «so».

例: Not really. I was given a bike as a child, but I struggled to learn how to ride it. So my mum eventually sold it, and I didn’t learn to ride a bike until I was an adult.

提案: Ви висловлюєте думку й наводите причину, але відповідь варто зробити чіткішою: забагато слів-паразитів («like», «um»), а поєднання «But» і «however» в одному реченні зайве. Уточніть, що велосипеди є в багатьох людей, але їх рідко використовують для поїздок на роботу через небезпечний рух. Порівняння з іншими країнами можна висловити коротше й природніше.

例: Not particularly. Many people own bikes, but cycling is less common here than in countries such as Germany or Denmark. The main reason is that traffic can be dangerous, so people often choose other ways to get to work.

× Not really, I remember I was given a bike as a gift, but eventually since it struggled to learn how to ride it, my mom decided to sell it as it was useless.

✓ Not really. I remember I was given a bike as a gift, but eventually, since I struggled to learn how to ride it, my mom decided to sell it because it was useless.

The pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to the speaker, who is the person learning to ride the bike. Use 'I' as the subject of 'struggled.' Check that each pronoun refers to the correct person or thing.

× So see until I became an adult I couldn't ride a bike unfortunately.

✓ So, I couldn't ride a bike until I became an adult, unfortunately.

The original wording says 'became an adult,' which correctly needs the article 'an' before the singular countable noun 'adult.' The correction also places the 'until' clause in a clearer position. Use 'a' or 'an' with a singular countable noun when it is not otherwise specified.

× It depends on what you define as popular, like compared to Scandinavian countries or Western European countries like Germany, they're not that popular.

✓ It depends on what you define as popular. Compared with bikes in Scandinavian countries or Western European countries like Germany, bikes in my country are not that popular.

The original comparison grammatically compares bikes with countries, rather than comparing how popular bikes are in different places. Compare equivalent things: here, the popularity of bikes in one place with their popularity in another.

× But most people have bikes, um, in my country, however they don't try it and pretty often like they don't go to work by bike since it's pretty dangerous.

✓ But most people in my country have bikes; however, they don't use them very often, and they often don't go to work by bike because it's pretty dangerous.

The singular pronoun 'it' does not agree with the plural noun 'bikes'; use the plural pronoun 'them.' The correction also makes the reference clearer by using 'use them' for bikes. Match a pronoun's number to the noun it refers to.