Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly at the beginning, and clarify whether you owned a bike or borrowed one, since your answer says you could not buy one but then says you rode one. Replace “prevalent enough” with a natural phrase such as “wasn’t able to afford one.” Avoid repeating “with my friends,” and add one specific detail about where or when you rode.

例: I didn’t own a bike as a child because my family lived in a crowded city and didn’t have much space. However, I sometimes borrowed a friend’s bicycle and rode it around our neighborhood after school. It was a fun way to spend time with my friends.

提案: State clearly that bikes are popular in Nepal, and use “popular” rather than “famous” for this context. Remove the unclear, repeated phrase about children’s ages; instead, identify a group such as teenagers or young adults. Support your opinion with a specific reason or example, and reduce fillers and repetition.

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in Nepal, especially among children and teenagers. They enjoy riding with friends in their neighborhoods or in quieter areas outside the city. Bikes are also a convenient and affordable way to get around.

× And growing up, I used to live in a very crowded city, so unfortunately I was not able to be prevalent enough to buy a bike.

✓ Growing up, I lived in a very crowded city, so unfortunately I was not fortunate enough to buy a bike.

Prevalent describes something that is widespread or common, not a person's ability or circumstances. Fortunate fits the meaning here. Use fortunate enough to describe not having the good luck or means to do something.

× It is quite famous among the youngsters and the kids who are in their, uh, kids who are in their aid and kids who are at night.

✓ They are quite famous among young people and children.

The pronoun it is singular, but it refers back to bikes, which is plural. Use they to agree in number with bikes. The remaining phrase is unclear, so it has been omitted rather than guessed.

× And then they, you, they love to ride, uh, uh, their bicycle and uh, and enjoy the view with their friends.

✓ And then they love to ride their bicycles and enjoy the view with their friends.

They refers to multiple people, so bicycles is the clearer plural form when describing what they ride. In a similar situation, match the noun's number to the people being discussed.