Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly, then explain how you overcame your fear. Use past tense consistently: say “I had,” “I could,” and “I managed to ride.” The phrase about your first attempt is unclear; clarify whether you succeeded on your first try. Reduce fillers and keep the answer to a few clear sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I was quite scared of riding it at first, but my mom helped me practise. I eventually managed to ride it on my first try, which made me really happy.

提案: Give a direct answer and support it with one or two relevant reasons. Avoid the unclear phrase “Vietnam and country” and the repeated claim that everyone has a bike. Use accurate grammar, such as “people had bikes instead of owning cars,” and say “environmentally friendly.” You could also distinguish between bicycles and motorbikes, which are common in Vietnam.

例: Yes, bicycles are popular in Vietnam, although motorbikes are more common today. In the past, many people relied on bicycles because they were affordable. They are also environmentally friendly and useful for short trips.

× Yes, I have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The sentence describes a completed period in the past, so use the past-tense form had rather than the present-tense form have.

× Um, actually I was very scared when riding a bike, but my mom tried to help me to get over the fear and I finally can ride a bike when it was for with my first attempt and I was really happy with that.

✓ Actually, I was very scared when riding a bike, but my mom tried to help me get over that fear, and I finally could ride a bike on my first attempt. I was really happy about that.

This sentence tells a story about the past, so use could rather than can. The correction also removes the ungrammatical phrase when it was for with; the intended past-time meaning is expressed clearly in the corrected sentence.

× Um, actually I was very scared when riding a bike, but my mom tried to help me to get over the fear and I finally can ride a bike when it was for with my first attempt and I was really happy with that.

✓ Actually, I was very scared when riding a bike, but my mom tried to help me get over that fear, and I finally could ride a bike on my first attempt. I was really happy about that.

The conventional preposition is on in the expression on my first attempt. Use about, rather than with, to describe being happy about an experience.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I think bicycles are uh really popular in Vietnam and country because actually we were was very poor mm few years ago and everybody has uh had their own bike instead of have motorbikes or cars and everybody can ride a bike in my country and it's very cheap and also um um environmental friendly.

✓ Yes, of course. I think bicycles are really popular in Vietnam and the countryside because we were very poor a few years ago, and everybody had their own bike instead of having a motorbike or a car. Everybody can ride a bike in my country, and they are very cheap and environmentally friendly.

When country means the countryside, it needs the definite article: the countryside. The correction also makes the intended meaning clear.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I think bicycles are uh really popular in Vietnam and country because actually we were was very poor mm few years ago and everybody has uh had their own bike instead of have motorbikes or cars and everybody can ride a bike in my country and it's very cheap and also um um environmental friendly.

✓ Yes, of course. I think bicycles are really popular in Vietnam and the countryside because we were very poor a few years ago, and everybody had their own bike instead of having a motorbike or a car. Everybody can ride a bike in my country, and they are very cheap and environmentally friendly.

The subject we takes were, not was. Use one correctly agreeing verb: we were very poor.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I think bicycles are uh really popular in Vietnam and country because actually we were was very poor mm few years ago and everybody has uh had their own bike instead of have motorbikes or cars and everybody can ride a bike in my country and it's very cheap and also um um environmental friendly.

✓ Yes, of course. I think bicycles are really popular in Vietnam and the countryside because we were very poor a few years ago, and everybody had their own bike instead of having a motorbike or a car. Everybody can ride a bike in my country, and they are very cheap and environmentally friendly.

Use a few with a plural countable noun such as years. Few years ago is missing the determiner a.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I think bicycles are uh really popular in Vietnam and country because actually we were was very poor mm few years ago and everybody has uh had their own bike instead of have motorbikes or cars and everybody can ride a bike in my country and it's very cheap and also um um environmental friendly.

✓ Yes, of course. I think bicycles are really popular in Vietnam and the countryside because we were very poor a few years ago, and everybody had their own bike instead of having a motorbike or a car. Everybody can ride a bike in my country, and they are very cheap and environmentally friendly.

The speaker is describing what people owned in the past, so use had, not has. The present-tense has does not fit this past-time context.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I think bicycles are uh really popular in Vietnam and country because actually we were was very poor mm few years ago and everybody has uh had their own bike instead of have motorbikes or cars and everybody can ride a bike in my country and it's very cheap and also um um environmental friendly.

✓ Yes, of course. I think bicycles are really popular in Vietnam and the countryside because we were very poor a few years ago, and everybody had their own bike instead of having a motorbike or a car. Everybody can ride a bike in my country, and they are very cheap and environmentally friendly.

After instead of, use a noun or a gerund (the -ing form of a verb). Therefore, use having rather than have.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I think bicycles are uh really popular in Vietnam and country because actually we were was very poor mm few years ago and everybody has uh had their own bike instead of have motorbikes or cars and everybody can ride a bike in my country and it's very cheap and also um um environmental friendly.

✓ Yes, of course. I think bicycles are really popular in Vietnam and the countryside because we were very poor a few years ago, and everybody had their own bike instead of having a motorbike or a car. Everybody can ride a bike in my country, and they are very cheap and environmentally friendly.

An adverb is needed to modify the adjective friendly. Use environmentally friendly, not environmental friendly.