Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly, then explain the two bikes in a clear sequence. Remove the false start “I had to actually when I was before” and use natural phrasing such as “I got my first bike from Santa Claus.” You could also say “as I grew bigger” instead of “because I got bigger.”

例: Yes, I had two bikes as a child. I got my first one from Santa Claus, and when I was nine, my parents bought me a bigger one because I had outgrown it.

提案: Give a direct answer and reduce filler words such as “uh.” Use “among children and teenagers” rather than “between,” and “get from one place to another” rather than “get from a point to another one.” For the comparison, say “less popular among adults.”

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among children and teenagers. They often ride them to meet friends or travel short distances. However, bikes seem less popular among adults, who usually prefer driving or taking public transport.

× I had to actually when I was before, I got one from Santa Claus and then when I was 9, my parents bought me another one because I got bigger.

✓ Actually, when I was younger, I got one from Santa Claus, and when I was nine, my parents bought me another one because I had grown.

The phrase 'I had to actually when I was before' is incomplete and does not form a grammatical clause. Use a complete phrase such as 'Actually, when I was younger.' The past perfect 'had grown' also clearly shows that the student had grown before the parents bought the larger bike.

× They're not as popular, uh, from, uh, in adults.

✓ They're not as popular among adults.

Use 'among' to identify the group in which something is popular. 'From' and 'in' do not work in this context.