Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly without repeating the question, and replace fillers such as “umm” and “uh” with a brief pause. Use the past tense consistently (“I liked it”) and explain what you mean by “it was my dream,” such as why you wanted that bike or how you used it. Aim for two or three clear, connected sentences.

例: Yes, I had a pink bike that my father gave me when I was a child. I was really excited because I had wanted one for a long time, and I used to ride it around our neighborhood.

提案: Give a clear, grammatically complete answer and avoid a long run-on sentence. Use “bikes are popular” rather than “it is popular,” and organize your explanation with a linking phrase such as “however” or “because.” Make the cultural point more precise by referring to your community or local customs rather than making a broad claim about the whole country.

例: Bikes are quite popular in some parts of my country, although their use can vary by community. In my area, boys are more likely to ride them outdoors, while some girls may face restrictions linked to local customs or religious interpretations.

× I like it because it was my dream.

✓ I liked it because it was my dream.

The student is describing a bike from childhood, so the past-tense verb liked is needed to keep the narration in the past. Use the past tense when describing feelings about something in a past situation.

× Yes, it is popular but for males or boys only because they can ride a bike outside while the girls they cannot because of our religion they cannot ride a bike so yeah.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular, but only among males or boys. They can ride bikes outside, while girls cannot because of our religion.

The question refers to bikes, so the plural noun bikes should be used rather than the singular pronoun it. Also, girls already serves as the subject, so adding they after it is redundant. Match pronouns to their antecedents and avoid repeating the subject.

× Yes, it is popular but for males or boys only because they can ride a bike outside while the girls they cannot because of our religion they cannot ride a bike so yeah.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular, but only among males or boys. They can ride bikes outside, while girls cannot because of our religion.

The original response runs several clauses together without clear sentence boundaries, making it difficult to follow. Separate the main ideas into complete sentences and use punctuation to show how the clauses relate.