Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly with a natural opening, such as “Yes, I did.” Avoid awkward phrases like “Back to the time” and “not only one being honest.” Explain briefly that you had more than one bike, then give a specific detail about how you used them. Use past-tense phrasing consistently, such as “my parents bought me.”

例: Yes, I had a couple of bikes when I was a child. I was the eldest in my family, so my parents often bought me the things I asked for. I especially enjoyed riding my bike around the neighborhood with my friends.

提案: State your opinion clearly, then support it with a relevant reason or example. Avoid repeating where you live and reduce fillers such as “uh.” Use accurate phrases like “I live in Astana” and “people tend to prefer showing off their cars.” Clarify whether you mean bikes are less popular than cars, and keep the answer concise.

例: I don’t think bicycles are especially popular in Kazakhstan, particularly in Astana. Many people prefer driving because the city is spread out and the weather can be very cold in winter. Also, some people see owning a car as more convenient or impressive. Still, cycling is becoming more common in warmer months.

× Back to the time when I was a child, I had bikes and not only one being honest, since I was the first child in my family, my family tried to provide me with everything I asked for.

✓ When I was a child, I had bikes—not just one, to be honest. Since I was the first child in my family, my family tried to provide me with everything I asked for.

The opening phrase and the wording ‘and not only one being honest’ are not structured naturally. Use ‘When I was a child’ to introduce the time and ‘not just one, to be honest’ to clarify that you had more than one bike. Splitting the thought also makes the sentence easier to follow.

× I'm living in a Astana, I'm living in Kazakhstan.

✓ I live in Astana, Kazakhstan.

Do not use ‘a’ before the name of a city. Also, ‘Astana, Kazakhstan’ expresses the location without repeating the same idea. Use the present simple ‘I live’ for a general statement about where you live.

× So, uh, we Kazakhs are, tend to try to show off with your, uh, car.

✓ So, we Kazakhs tend to show off our cars.

‘Are’ cannot be placed before the base verb ‘tend’ here. Remove ‘are’ and use ‘we Kazakhs tend to…’. This direct structure is clearer and grammatically correct.

× So, uh, we Kazakhs are, tend to try to show off with your, uh, car.

✓ So, we Kazakhs tend to show off our cars.

The pronoun ‘your’ does not agree with the subject ‘we Kazakhs’. Use ‘our’ to refer to the cars belonging to the people included in ‘we’.

× So bikes are not the same that is most.

✓ So bikes are not the most popular.

The phrase ‘the same that is most’ does not form a clear or grammatical construction. In this context, use ‘the most popular’ to express that bikes are not the leading choice. State the adjective being compared, such as ‘popular’, after ‘most’.