Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Start with a clear, direct answer and remove the unrelated opening and fillers. Explain that you tried to learn to ride, got injured, and your mother then decided not to buy you a bike. Use natural phrasing such as “I had a bad accident” and “we never bought a bike for me.”

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. I tried to learn how to ride one, but I had a bad accident. After that, my mother didn’t want me to continue, so we never bought a bike for me.

提案: Give a direct answer, then support it with one or two specific reasons or examples. Avoid repetition (“first very first”) and use more natural phrases such as “a first vehicle for many people” and “commute to school.” Clarify whether you mean bicycles or motorbikes if the word “bikes” could be ambiguous.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For many people, they’re an affordable first vehicle, and both adults and children use them regularly. Students often ride them to school because they’re convenient for short journeys.

× Didn't have a bike.

✓ I didn't have a bike.

The sentence has a verb but no stated subject. Add I to make it a complete sentence.

× Every time I drive outside, uh, try to learn cycling.

✓ Every time I went outside, I tried to learn to cycle.

The student is describing events from childhood, so the past-tense verbs went and tried are appropriate. Keep the verbs in the same past-time frame.

× Every time I drive outside, uh, try to learn cycling.

✓ Every time I went outside, I tried to learn to cycle.

The clause is missing a subject before try. Include I so the sentence has a clear subject and verb.

× We never got a bike for myself.

✓ We never got a bike for ourselves.

The reflexive pronoun must agree with its antecedent. Because the subject is we, use ourselves, not myself.

× Of course bikes are very popular in my country mainly because that's our first very first vehicle.

✓ Of course, bikes are very popular in my country mainly because they are our very first vehicles.

The subject bikes is plural, so use the plural pronoun they and the plural verb are. The noun vehicles must also be plural to agree with bikes.

× Not just children even adults use the bikes every day in their lives.

✓ Not only children but also adults use bikes every day.

The paired conjunction not only ... but also is needed to connect the two groups clearly. Use both parts of the pair.

× Adults use the bikes every day in their lives and mostly students use the bikes to commute to the schools.

✓ Adults use bikes every day, and most students use bikes to commute to school.

When referring to bikes and school in general, do not use the definite article the. Use bikes and commute to school. Most is also the appropriate quantifier when referring to the majority of students.