Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 질문에 직접 답한 점과 아버지와 자전거를 탄 추억을 제시한 점은 좋습니다. 다만 “I think”와 “So”가 반복되고, “the first moment that I bought…”는 문법적으로 부자연스러우며 아버지가 자전거를 주었다는 내용과도 모순됩니다. “When I was five, my father gave me my first bike”처럼 간결하게 표현하고, 장소와 함께 탔던 사람을 정확한 문장으로 설명하세요. 불필요한 망설임을 줄이고 3~4문장으로 답하면 더 자연스럽습니다.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father gave me my first one when I was about five. I used to ride it with him along the Han River, which was always a lot of fun.

提案: 자전거가 인기 있다는 의견을 밝히고 서울의 공공 자전거 서비스를 예로 든 점은 적절합니다. 하지만 “the bike is popular”보다는 “bikes are popular”가 자연스럽고, “bikes park at the road”는 “bikes parked along the streets”로 고쳐야 합니다. 서비스 이름은 보통 “Ttareungi”라고 하며, “borrow the bike anywhere”라는 반복 대신 대여와 반납의 편리함을 한 번씩 구체적으로 설명하세요. 연결어를 사용해 3~4문장으로 정리하면 답변이 더 명확해집니다.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in South Korea, especially in Seoul. For example, the city has a public bike-sharing service called Ttareungi. People can rent a bike at one station and return it to another, so it’s a convenient way to get around.

× So, uh, I think about the when I was uh, five years old, I think that was the first moment that I bought I that I bought my new bike.

✓ I think I was about five years old when I got my first bike.

The original sentence contains an incomplete phrase and repeated, interrupted clauses, so its structure is unclear. Use a complete clause with a clear subject and verb, and say when the event happened in a straightforward way.

× So I went to the Han river and like alongside the Henry by rode a bike with my father.

✓ I went to the Han River and rode my bike with my father along the river.

The original sentence has an unclear phrase after and, and the second part does not have a clear subject before rode. Use a complete clause with an explicit subject and place the phrase describing the route naturally at the end.

× Yes, I think the bike is really, really popular in my country, especially if I think about my neighborhood, there are a lot of bikes park at the road and then we can also borrow the bike anywhere.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are really popular in my country. In my neighborhood, there are a lot of bikes parked on the road, and we can also borrow a bike nearby.

Use the past participle parked to describe the bikes that are left on the road. The base form park cannot describe the bikes in this sentence.

× Yes, I think the bike is really, really popular in my country, especially if I think about my neighborhood, there are a lot of bikes park at the road and then we can also borrow the bike anywhere.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are really popular in my country. In my neighborhood, there are a lot of bikes parked on the road, and we can also borrow a bike nearby.

Use on the road when describing where the bikes are located. At the road does not express this location naturally; use on for a surface or a road.

× The Dadangi is the sharing bike system in the in the Seoul and we can borrow the bike anywhere and then also we can return the bike anywhere.

✓ Dadangi is a bike-sharing system in Seoul, and we can borrow a bike anywhere and return it anywhere.

Use a before the singular count noun system when introducing it, and omit the before the city name Seoul. Use a bike when referring to any bike rather than a specific one; after introducing it, use it to refer back to that bike.