Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly, then describe when you received the bike and why it was special. Avoid repeating words such as “I” and “how to,” and correct the sentence structure: say “I got my first bike for my birthday,” not “It was the first bike that I had was on my birthday.” Finish your final thought clearly—for example, explain how you learned to ride it. Use “pink” rather than “a pink color.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I got my first one for my birthday, and it was pink. I had wanted it for years, but I didn’t know how to ride at first. After a few lessons from my family, I learned and enjoyed riding it around our neighborhood.

提案: Your opinion and comparison across time are clear. Make the answer more precise by identifying what “it” refers to, and correct “other kind of things” to “other kinds of transport.” Avoid the vague phrase “the ones I used to ride”; say “traditional bicycles.” You could also briefly explain why cars and electric bikes are more popular.

例: Bicycles aren’t as popular as they used to be in my country. When I was a child, more people rode traditional bikes, but now many prefer cars or electric bikes. I think this is because cars are more convenient for longer journeys, while electric bikes require less effort.

× It was the first bike that I had was on my birthday.

✓ I got my first bike on my birthday.

The original sentence combines two incompatible structures: 'It was the first bike...' and 'the bike that I had was...'. Use a single, complete structure, such as 'I got my first bike on my birthday.'

× But once I got it, I learned it in.

✓ But once I got it, I learned how to ride it.

The preposition 'in' does not belong at the end of this sentence. To describe acquiring the skill of riding, say 'learned how to ride it' or 'learned to ride it.'

× And I think now cars and electric bikes and other kind of things are more popular than the ones I used to ride when I was a kid.

✓ And I think now cars, electric bikes, and other kinds of things are more popular than the ones I used to ride when I was a kid.

The plural noun 'things' requires the plural form 'kinds' in the phrase 'other kinds of things.'