Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify whether you mean a bicycle or a motorcycle, since “bike” can refer to either and your answer initially sounds contradictory. Also avoid making a broad claim about Indian law; answer directly and add a brief personal detail. Use “when I turn eighteen” only if you have not turned eighteen yet.

例: I didn’t have a motorcycle as a child, but I did ride a bicycle. I used it to get around my neighbourhood and sometimes rode it with my friends. I’d like to get a motorcycle when I’m old enough.

提案: State clearly whether you mean bicycles or motorcycles, and avoid implying that most people do not have cars solely because of traffic. Replace the repeated “because” with a linking phrase such as “so” or “as a result,” and give one specific reason or example.

例: Yes, two-wheelers are very popular in India. In crowded cities, many people use motorcycles or scooters because they are easier to park and often quicker than cars in heavy traffic. Bicycles are also common for short trips.

× They do not have cars because the traffic here is extreme, because of that most of the people use bikes.

✓ They do not have cars because the traffic here is extreme. Because of that, most of the people use bikes.

The original joins two complete clauses with a comma, creating a comma splice. Separate them with a period, and use a comma after the introductory phrase Because of that. Alternatively, you could join the clauses with a semicolon.