Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly in the first sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid repetition: “bought for me as a birthday present,” “given to me as a gift,” and “gifted this” express the same idea. The phrase “when growing up” should be changed to “when I was growing up,” and “it was such an interesting moment” is unnatural here; “I was thrilled” is more appropriate. Keep the answer concise and use natural collocations such as “ride my bike” and “receive it as a birthday present.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was growing up. My mother gave it to me for my fifth birthday, and I was over the moon because it was bright red and looked really cool. I often rode it around my neighborhood with my friends after school.

提案: State your opinion clearly and explain it with accurate, specific reasons. “It is quite affordable” should be “They are quite affordable,” because “bikes” is plural. The phrase “it is being ruled by children and adults” is unclear; you may mean “They are used by both children and adults.” Also, “used as a marathon” is incorrect and should be replaced with “used for exercise or leisure.” Avoid repetition in “most times most children,” and use the verb “ride,” not “Rd.” Add a concrete example, such as people cycling to work or children riding in parks.

例: Definitely, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient. They are used by both children and adults, especially for exercise and short journeys. For example, many children ride their bikes in the park in the morning, while some adults cycle to work.

× When growing up I used to have a bike which was bought for me as a birthday present by my mom.

✓ When I was growing up, I used to have a bike that my mom bought for me as a birthday present.

The phrase when growing up is missing a clear subject. Use when I was growing up to form a complete and grammatically clear time clause. The active structure my mom bought for me is also more natural than the passive structure was bought for me.

× It is quite affordable.

✓ They are quite affordable.

The previous sentence refers to bikes, which is plural. Therefore, use the plural pronoun they and the plural verb are instead of it and is.

× Also it is being ruled by children and adults which is often used as a marathon.

✓ Also, bikes are used by children and adults, often for marathon events.

The verb ruled is incorrect because bikes are not ruled in this context. Use are used to express that children and adults ride or use bikes. The original relative clause is also unclear, so the sentence is simplified to make the meaning clear.