Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ понятен, но есть несколько грамматических и лексических ошибок. Используйте “buy me a bike” вместо “ride me bike”, поскольку родители не покупали вам велосипед. Фраза “a specific kid” здесь звучит неестественно; лучше сказать “I was not very sporty” или “I was more interested in computers”. Также избегайте самокоррекции “who don't who didn't” и повторения “sport games or sport activities”. Начните с прямого ответа, затем кратко объясните причину и добавьте контраст с компьютерами.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. My parents didn’t buy me one because I wasn’t very sporty and didn’t enjoy activities like football or cycling. I was more interested in playing computer games.

提案: Ответ напрямую отвечает на вопрос и выражает ясное мнение, но содержит повторение “I think” и “I believe”. Выражение “in the childhood” неестественно; используйте “during childhood” или “for children”. Вместо “the most popular gift” лучше сказать “one of the most popular gifts”, если вы не уверены, что это действительно самый популярный подарок. Добавьте конкретную причину или пример, например, что велосипед помогает детям быть активными и самостоятельно передвигаться.

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country, especially among children. They are one of the most common birthday gifts because they help kids stay active and become more independent. Many children also use them to ride around their neighbourhood.

× So my parents didn't ride me bike because I was such a specific kid who don't who didn't like sport games or sport activities like football, soccer or something games like this.

✓ My parents didn't let me ride my bike because I was a rather unusual child who didn't like sports or sports activities such as football or soccer.

The possessive adjective my is required before bike, not the object pronoun me. The expression let me ride is grammatically appropriate when meaning that the parents allowed or did not allow the child to ride. Use possessive adjectives such as my, your, and their before nouns.

× So my parents didn't ride me bike because I was such a specific kid who don't who didn't like sport games or sport activities like football, soccer or something games like this.

✓ My parents didn't let me ride my bike because I was a rather unusual child who didn't like sports or sports activities such as football or soccer.

The question refers to the student's childhood, so the verb should be in the past tense. Use didn't like, not don't like. Also remove the repeated words who don't because they are an editing error. When describing past preferences, consistently use the past tense.

× So my parents didn't ride me bike because I was such a specific kid who don't who didn't like sport games or sport activities like football, soccer or something games like this.

✓ My parents didn't let me ride my bike because I was a rather unusual child who didn't like sports or sports activities such as football or soccer.

The general activities mentioned here should be plural: sports and sports activities. Use plural nouns when speaking about activities in general.

× So my parents didn't ride me bike because I was such a specific kid who don't who didn't like sport games or sport activities like football, soccer or something games like this.

✓ My parents didn't let me ride my bike because I was a rather unusual child who didn't like sports or sports activities such as football or soccer.

The original sentence contains repeated words and the incomplete phrase something games like this. The revised sentence has a clear subject, verb, and object, and such as introduces examples correctly. Avoid adding incomplete phrases at the end of a sentence.

× I prefer personal computer.

✓ I preferred using a computer.

Because the student is talking about childhood, prefer should be changed to the past tense preferred. Use the past tense when describing what you liked or preferred in the past.

× Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country and this is probably the most popular gift in the childhood, I believe that bicycles are very important for the kids.

✓ Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country, and they are probably the most popular gift for children. I believe that bicycles are very important for children.

The phrase in the childhood is incorrect in this context. Use during childhood or for children instead. The generic noun children does not normally need the definite article the. Use the only when referring to a specific group of children.

× Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country and this is probably the most popular gift in the childhood, I believe that bicycles are very important for the kids.

✓ Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country, and they are probably the most popular gift for children. I believe that bicycles are very important for children.

The original sentence joins two complete sentences with only a comma, which creates a comma splice. Separate them with a full stop or use a suitable conjunction. The pronoun they is also clearer than this because it refers to bicycles, which is plural.