Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly using the past tense: say that you did not have a bike, but your younger brother did. Correct the grammar and word choice: “As far as I remember” instead of “As as far as I remember,” “didn’t have” instead of “don’t have,” “rode” instead of “drive,” and “was broken” instead of “was broke.” Use a linking word such as “However” to introduce the later problem, and avoid repeating “bike” unnecessarily.

例: As far as I remember, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child, but my younger brother did. We often rode it together around our neighborhood. However, it was eventually broken, so we couldn’t use it anymore.

提案: Begin with a clear answer and then support it with a specific observation. Replace unnatural expressions such as “in the country whole” with “throughout the country,” “much bikers” with “many cyclists,” and “Only when in summer” with “I only see them in summer.” Keep the verb tenses consistent: use the present tense for general observations and past tense only for a particular past event. Explain why bikes are not popular, such as heavy traffic, limited cycling lanes, or hot weather.

例: Honestly, I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country, especially in Li City. I rarely see cyclists when I walk through the city, except for some teenagers who ride in the summer. This may be because the traffic is quite heavy and there aren’t many dedicated bike lanes.

× As as far as I remember I don't have a bike but my little brother had so we always drive a bike together.

✓ As far as I remember, I didn't have a bike, but my little brother did, so we always rode a bike together.

The question asks about the student's childhood, so the verbs should be in the past tense. Use didn't have instead of don't have, and rode instead of drive. The word did appropriately replaces had to avoid repeating the verb have.

× But then this bike was broke so there was no bike anymore.

✓ But then the bike broke, so there were no bikes left.

Use there were with the plural noun bikes. There was is used with a singular noun, while there were is used with a plural noun.

× But then this bike was broke so there was no bike anymore.

✓ But then the bike broke, so there were no bikes left.

The sentence refers to bikes in general after the original bike stopped working, so the plural form bikes is more appropriate. The phrase no bikes left is also more natural than no bike anymore in this context.

× Honestly, I don't think that bikes are popular, particularly in Li City and maybe in the country whole, but because when I walk through the city, I didn't see much bikers.

✓ Honestly, I don't think bikes are popular, particularly in Li City and perhaps throughout the country, because when I walk through the city, I don't see many bikers.

The student is describing a general situation, so the present tense should be used consistently. Use don't see instead of didn't see. The conjunction but is unnecessary because the sentence is explaining the reason for the opinion.

× Honestly, I don't think that bikes are popular, particularly in Li City and maybe in the country whole, but because when I walk through the city, I didn't see much bikers.

✓ Honestly, I don't think bikes are popular, particularly in Li City and perhaps throughout the country, because when I walk through the city, I don't see many bikers.

Throughout the country correctly means in all parts of the country. The phrase in the country whole is not a natural prepositional expression.

× Honestly, I don't think that bikes are popular, particularly in Li City and maybe in the country whole, but because when I walk through the city, I didn't see much bikers.

✓ Honestly, I don't think bikes are popular, particularly in Li City and perhaps throughout the country, because when I walk through the city, I don't see many bikers.

Bikers are countable plural nouns, so use many rather than much. Much is generally used with uncountable nouns, such as much traffic or much time.

× Only when in summer some teenagers rode it.

✓ Only in summer do some teenagers ride them.

The pronoun it is singular, but it refers to bikes, which is plural. Therefore, use them. The present-tense form ride is also appropriate because the sentence describes a general seasonal habit.

× Only when in summer some teenagers rode it.

✓ Only in summer do some teenagers ride them.

Only in summer is the correct introductory phrase. When a sentence begins with a restrictive adverbial phrase such as only in summer, auxiliary inversion is used: do some teenagers ride, not some teenagers ride.