Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly, then add a specific description and personal feeling. Correct the verb error: “writing” should be “riding.” Also, “Hello Kitty shapes” is less natural than “Hello Kitty designs” or “a Hello Kitty pattern,” and “I really loved that” would be clearer as “I really loved it.” Avoid starting the final sentence with “But” because it does not show a contrast here.

例: Yes, I did. It was a pink bike with a Hello Kitty design on it, and I absolutely loved it. I used to ride it around my neighborhood after school, so I have very fond memories of it.

提案: You give a clear opinion and several relevant reasons, but avoid repeating “I think” and making an absolute claim such as “everyone owned a bike.” Use more natural phrasing: “even for adults, bikes can save a lot of time.” Link the reasons smoothly with words such as “because” and “in addition.” Remove the redundant combination “also” and “as well”; use only one of them.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among children and commuters. They are convenient because they can help people avoid traffic and save time. In addition, they are easy to store and relatively inexpensive, so many people choose to use them for short trips.

× But I can enjoy writing it.

✓ But I really enjoyed riding it.

The student is describing a past experience, so the past-tense verb enjoyed is needed instead of the modal expression can enjoy. Also, riding is the appropriate verb for using a bike.

× But I can enjoy writing it.

✓ But I really enjoyed riding it.

The verb enjoy is followed by a gerund, or verb + -ing form. Therefore, riding is grammatically correct after enjoyed. Writing changes the meaning because it refers to producing written words, not using a bicycle.