Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly in the past tense because the question refers to your childhood. Avoid repeating the same idea and check article use, word order, and vocabulary: say “a lovely girls’ bike,” “a colourful pink bike,” and “a basket at the front.” Add one specific detail about how you used the bike to make your answer more developed and natural.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father bought me a lovely girls’ bike for my birthday; it was bright pink and had a small basket at the front. I used to ride it around my neighbourhood after school.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence and then explain the reasons using a linking word such as “because.” Use the plural form “bikes are extremely popular,” and improve the phrasing to “when their children do well at school” rather than “for their success in the school.” Include a second, more specific reason, such as convenience, exercise, or environmental benefits.

例: Yes, bikes are extremely popular in my country, especially among children. This is because parents often buy them as birthday presents or rewards when their children do well at school. In addition, many people use bikes for exercise and short journeys because they are convenient and environmentally friendly.

× Yes, I have a bike, I had a bike that my father bought me as a birthday present.

✓ Yes, I had a bike that my father bought me as a birthday present.

The question asks about a past experience in childhood, so use the past tense had instead of the present perfect form have. The repeated phrase I have a bike is also unnecessary.

× It was wonderful girly bike it with a colored bink and it had a basket.

✓ It was a wonderful girly bike with a colored bink, and it had a basket.

A singular countable noun such as bike needs an article. Use a before wonderful girly bike.

× It was wonderful girly bike it with a colored bink and it had a basket.

✓ It was a wonderful girly bike with a colored bink, and it had a basket.

The original sentence contains an incorrectly placed pronoun and joins ideas without a clear structure. After describing the bike, use with to add its features, and use and to connect the two complete clauses.

× Yes, it's extremely popular as parents buy for their children as birthday gifts or for their success in the school or their good grades to motivate children.

✓ Yes, bikes are extremely popular because parents buy them for their children as birthday gifts or to celebrate their success at school or their good grades.

The question refers to bikes in the plural, so use the plural subject bikes rather than the singular pronoun it. Keep the subject and verb forms consistent in number.

× Yes, it's extremely popular as parents buy for their children as birthday gifts or for their success in the school or their good grades to motivate children.

✓ Yes, bikes are extremely popular because parents buy them for their children as birthday gifts or to celebrate their success at school or their good grades.

The verb buy needs a direct object. Use them to refer back to bikes: parents buy them for their children. The final pronoun their should refer clearly to the children.

× Yes, it's extremely popular as parents buy for their children as birthday gifts or for their success in the school or their good grades to motivate children.

✓ Yes, bikes are extremely popular because parents buy them for their children as birthday gifts or to celebrate their success at school or their good grades.

Use at school when referring generally to a students school experience. The phrase in the school is not natural in this context.

× Yes, it's extremely popular as parents buy for their children as birthday gifts or for their success in the school or their good grades to motivate children.

✓ Yes, bikes are extremely popular because parents buy them for their children as birthday gifts or to celebrate their success at school or their good grades.

The original sentence contains several incomplete and poorly connected phrases. Add the object them after buy, use because to introduce the reason, and use parallel structures such as as birthday gifts or to celebrate their success.