Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid repeating “Yes.” The phrase “the countryside of thousand friends” is unclear; say “a sparsely populated rural area” or explain that homes were far apart. Complete your final sentence and use a clear reason-and-result structure. For example, explain that you needed a bike because your friends lived far away. Keep the answer to two or three complete sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I grew up in a sparsely populated rural area, where my friends often lived about ten kilometres away. As a result, cycling was a convenient way to visit them.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, such as “Bikes are fairly popular, but not everywhere.” Avoid repetition and incorrect forms such as “how does it work,” “Scandinavi countries,” and “this is not most popular.” Use a comparison and explain the main reason, such as cycling infrastructure in cities. Be specific and connect your ideas with linking words such as “whereas” or “although.”

例: Bikes are fairly popular in France, although they are more common in large cities than in the countryside. For example, Paris has many cycle lanes and a public bike-sharing system, whereas smaller towns often have less cycling infrastructure. Therefore, people in cities are more likely to use bikes for commuting.

× your closer friends live at maybe something more like 10 kilometers

✓ your closest friends lived about 10 kilometers away

Friends is plural, so the sentence needs a plural subject and a suitable expression for distance. Also, because the speaker is describing the past, lived is more appropriate than live.

× this is not most popular in France

✓ bikes are not the most popular in France

The subject is bikes, which is plural, so the verb must be are, not is.

× your closer friends live at maybe something more like 10 kilometers

✓ your closest friends lived about 10 kilometers away

The speaker is talking about childhood, so the past-tense form lived is needed instead of live.

× your closer friends live at maybe something more like 10 kilometers

✓ your closest friends lived about 10 kilometers away

For distance, use about 10 kilometers away rather than at 10 kilometers.

× maybe more in Paris, the capital more than countryside or other town

✓ perhaps more popular in Paris, the capital, than in the countryside or in other towns

When comparing locations, use than in before the second location. The preposition in is needed before both Paris and the countryside or other towns.

× your closer friends

✓ your closest friends

Closest is the appropriate superlative form when referring to the friends who are most close to you. Alternatively, close friends can be used if no comparison is intended.

× Yes, I had one because when I was a child I lived in the countryside of thousand friends

✓ Yes, I had one because I lived in the countryside when I was a child, where my closest friends lived about 10 kilometers away.

Because and when are unnecessarily combined in the original structure. Use because to give the reason and place when in a separate clause to indicate the time.

× this is not most popular in France

✓ bikes are not the most popular in France

The superlative most popular normally requires the definite article the: the most popular.

× more than countryside or other town

✓ more than in the countryside or in other towns

Countryside normally takes the definite article the when referring to a rural area in general. Town must be plural here because the sentence refers to towns generally, so no singular article is needed.

× when I see how does it work in Northern Europe countries like Denmark or Scandinavi

✓ when I see how it works in Northern European countries such as Denmark and other Scandinavian countries

In an indirect question after how, use normal statement word order: how it works, not how does it work. The corrected version also completes the comparison more clearly.

× And when your parents.

✓ My parents also supported my cycling.

The original is an incomplete sentence because it contains no main verb or complete idea. A complete sentence needs a subject and a verb.

× I I wouldn't say that because when I see how does it work in Northern Europe countries like Denmark or Scandinavi or other Scandinavians country, this is not most popular in France, maybe more in Paris, the capital more than countryside or other town.

✓ I would not say that. When I compare France with Northern European countries such as Denmark and other Scandinavian countries, bikes are not as popular in France, although they may be more popular in Paris, the capital, than in the countryside or in other towns.

The original contains several clauses joined together without a clear structure. Separating the ideas into two sentences and using although and than makes the relationships between the ideas grammatically clear.