Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and keep the meaning consistent. The question asks about a bike, but your answer first discusses motorcycles and then says that you had a bicycle, which is confusing. Use “could lead,” not “can led,” and say “young people” rather than “young people” after “accidents of” by restructuring the phrase. Avoid explaining the law in too much detail for Part 1; give a clear answer followed by one brief reason and a personal detail. Also, use “bicycles are safer than motorcycles” instead of the unclear phrase “safer than the bikes.”

例: No, I didn’t have a bicycle when I was a child. Motorcycles weren’t allowed for people under eighteen in my country, and my parents thought they were too dangerous. However, I started riding a bicycle when I was about ten because it was safer and more practical.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and support it with specific, natural details. Say “Bicycles are quite popular” or “Motorcycles are very popular,” depending on which type of bike you mean; avoid switching between “bikes,” “two wheel,” and singular “it.” Use “affordable for middle-class people,” “convenient for getting from one place to another,” and “a two-wheeler” or “a bicycle.” Replace “reach out the destination” with “reach my destination.” Add a concrete example, such as commuting to work or avoiding traffic, and use a linking word such as “For example.”

例: Yes, bicycles and motorcycles are both quite popular in my country. They are affordable for many middle-class people and are a convenient way to get around, especially in crowded cities. For example, I often use my bicycle to go to nearby shops because it helps me avoid traffic and reach my destination quickly.

× The law can led to fines for parents and riders and authorities worry about the high risk of accidents of young people, but yes, I do have a bicycle which is more acceptable and safer than the bikes.

✓ The law can lead to fines for parents and riders, and authorities worry about the high risk of accidents of young people, but yes, I do have a bicycle which is more acceptable and safer than the bikes.

After the modal verb can, use the base form of the verb, lead, not the past-tense form led. Modal verbs such as can, should, and must are followed by the base form of a verb.

× The law can led to fines for parents and riders and authorities worry about the high risk of accidents of young people, but yes, I do have a bicycle which is more acceptable and safer than the bikes.

✓ The law can lead to fines for parents and riders, and authorities worry about the high risk of accidents among young people, but yes, I do have a bicycle which is more acceptable and safer than the bikes.

The preposition among is more appropriate when referring to accidents involving or affecting a group of people. Accidents of young people is not the natural expression in this context.

× Well, yes, bikes are often very popular in my country because it is very affordable to middle class people and it is very convenient for the transportation from one place to another.

✓ Well, yes, bikes are often very popular in my country because they are very affordable to middle-class people and they are very convenient for transportation from one place to another.

The pronoun it refers to a singular noun, but bikes is plural. Use the plural pronoun they and the plural verb are.

× Well, yes, bikes are often very popular in my country because it is very affordable to middle class people and it is very convenient for the transportation from one place to another.

✓ Well, yes, bikes are often very popular in my country because they are very affordable for middle-class people and they are very convenient for transportation from one place to another.

The natural preposition after affordable when referring to the people who can buy something is for, not to. For example, This product is affordable for students.

× Well, yes, bikes are often very popular in my country because it is very affordable to middle class people and it is very convenient for the transportation from one place to another.

✓ Well, yes, bikes are often very popular in my country because they are very affordable for middle-class people and they are very convenient for transportation from one place to another.

Transportation is used as an uncountable noun when discussing transportation in general, so it normally does not need the definite article the. Use the transportation only when referring to a specific transportation system or service.

× For instance, I have a two wheel which helps me to reach out the destination.

✓ For instance, I have a two-wheeled bicycle, which helps me reach my destination.

Two wheel is not a complete noun phrase. When describing something with two wheels, use the compound adjective two-wheeled before a noun, such as two-wheeled bicycle. The adjective is written with a hyphen.

× For instance, I have a two wheel which helps me to reach out the destination.

✓ For instance, I have a two-wheeled bicycle, which helps me reach my destination.

Reach does not take the particle out when it means arrive at a place. Say reach my destination, not reach out the destination. Reach out means contact or communicate with someone.