Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Start with a direct answer and use accurate grammar: say “a bike,” not “bike.” The phrase “over become older” is unnatural; use “when I got older.” Also, “atro” is unclear, so name the vehicle correctly, such as “a motorcycle” or “a scooter.” Use one linking word, such as “however,” to connect your childhood experience with what happened later.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. However, when I got older, around the eleventh grade, I bought a motorcycle. I used it to travel to school and visit my friends.

提案: Give a clear reason for your opinion, but avoid repeating the same idea. The sentence “if someone has a bike and they are showing their status symbol” should be changed to “owning a bike can be a status symbol.” Use correct grammar in “they are is also a showing of trend,” and explain specifically why bikes are popular, for example, because they are fashionable, convenient, or environmentally friendly.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For many young people, owning an expensive bike is a status symbol and a sign of being fashionable. In addition, bikes are convenient for short trips and help people avoid traffic.

× No, I didn't have bike when I was a child but yeah over become older like around eleventh grade I bought my atro.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but as I got older, around eleventh grade, I bought my bike.

The singular countable noun bike needs the indefinite article a. We use a before a singular countable noun when mentioning it for the first time.

× No, I didn't have bike when I was a child but yeah over become older like around eleventh grade I bought my atro.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but as I got older, around eleventh grade, I bought my bike.

The expression over become older is not grammatically correct. Because you are describing a change that happened in the past, use the past-tense expression as I got older.

× No, I didn't have bike when I was a child but yeah over become older like around eleventh grade I bought my atro.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but as I got older, around eleventh grade, I bought my bike.

The original sentence contains an incorrectly formed phrase, over become older, and lacks clear connections between its ideas. Use the structure as I got older and separate the contrasting ideas with a comma and but.

× For instance, if someone has a bike and they are showing their status symbol.

✓ For instance, if someone has a bike, they are showing it as a status symbol.

The pronoun it clearly refers to the bike. The original phrase their status symbol incorrectly suggests that the person is showing a status symbol belonging to them, rather than using the bike as a status symbol.

× So they are is also a showing of trend.

✓ So, having a bike is also a sign of a trend.

The original sentence has two forms of the verb be together, are is, and the noun phrase a showing of trend is not correctly structured. Use the gerund phrase having a bike as the subject and the natural expression a sign of a trend.

× So they are is also a showing of trend.

✓ So, having a bike is also a sign of a trend.

The singular countable noun sign needs the article a, and trend normally needs the article a when referring to one particular trend. The phrase a sign of a trend is grammatically and naturally formed.