Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear, relevant, and well developed, with specific details about the bike and your feelings. However, correct the phrase “my first back” to “my first bike” and use the past perfect in “I had never ridden a bike before.” The phrase “before that” already refers to the past, so “I've never ridden” should not be used here. You can also make the opening more direct and natural: “Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was seven.”

例: Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was seven, and my father bought it for my birthday. I was delighted because I had never ridden a bike before. It was purple and had ribbons on the handlebars, so I thought it looked really special.

提案: You answer the question directly and give a reason, but “they are decreasing” is incorrect because bikes themselves are not decreasing; you should say “their popularity is declining” or “fewer people are using them.” Replace the unclear phrase “drive bikes” with “ride bikes,” and avoid the filler “uh” and the ending “So yeah.” Improve coherence by clearly contrasting bicycle use with car use and by explaining that cars are more practical for long journeys. A more natural structure is: opinion, contrast, and reason.

例: Bikes are still fairly popular in my country, although their popularity is gradually declining. Many people ride them for exercise or short trips, but they usually choose cars for longer journeys. This is mainly because cycling can be unsafe in busy traffic, and cars are generally more convenient.

× Honestly it made me very happy because before that I've never ridden a bike before.

✓ Honestly, it made me very happy because before that I had never ridden a bike.

The speaker is describing an experience that happened before another past event. Therefore, the past perfect form had never ridden is more appropriate than the present perfect form have never ridden. Also, before that already expresses the earlier time, so the second before is unnecessary.

× The use of bikes is actually decreasing because, uh, it's not very safe to drive bikes and people usually use cars so especially for long distances.

✓ The use of bikes is actually decreasing because it is not very safe to ride them, and people usually use cars, especially for long distances.

The original sentence has an awkward and incomplete structure after cars so. Especially for long distances should be connected directly to the phrase use cars. Ride bikes is also the standard verb combination in English; drive is normally used with cars and other motor vehicles.