Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid fillers such as “umm,” “uh,” and repeated words. Use the correct tense: “I had three bikes during my childhood,” rather than “since my childhood.” Organize the response into a clear topic sentence followed by specific details. The final phrase, “I enjoyed it a lot as my mother,” is unclear; explain what you enjoyed and avoid adding unrelated information. You could mention the tricycle’s color, how you used it, and a related childhood memory.

例: Yes, I had three bikes during my childhood. The first one was a small yellow tricycle, although I do not remember it clearly because I was very young. I have seen pictures of myself riding it, and I think I used it around the house almost every day. I really enjoyed it because it was one of my first ways of becoming independent.

提案: Give a complete response because the answer currently ends mid-sentence. Start with a clear opinion, such as “Not particularly,” and use linking words to explain the comparison. Clarify the difference between bicycles, motorbikes, and scooters; “scooties” is less natural in standard English, so use “scooters.” Include a specific reason, such as longer distances, convenience, or traffic conditions. Avoid repetition and improve the grammar of comparisons by saying “compared with motorbikes.”

例: Not particularly. In my country, most adults prefer motorbikes or scooters because they are faster and more convenient for commuting, while some people use cars for longer journeys. Bicycles are mainly used by schoolchildren and by adults who exercise or live near their workplaces. However, cycling is becoming more popular in some cities because of concerns about pollution and traffic.

× I had in total three bikes since my childhood.

✓ I had three bikes during my childhood.

Since usually connects a starting point in the past with a situation that continues to the present, so it commonly requires the present perfect. Because you are describing a completed period in the past, during my childhood is more appropriate with the past tense had.

× I do not have memory of it.

✓ I do not have a memory of it.

The singular countable noun memory needs the indefinite article a when it is used in this meaning. A more natural alternative is I do not remember it.

× I have seen in pictures I had a little tricycle.

✓ I have seen pictures of it; I had a little tricycle.

When you mean that something appears in photographs, use the structure see pictures of something. The preposition of correctly connects the pictures with the tricycle.

× A yellow colour tricycle.

✓ A yellow tricycle.

Yellow is already an adjective and can directly describe tricycle. Colour is unnecessary here. If you want to use colour, say a yellow-coloured tricycle, although a yellow tricycle is more natural.

× I enjoyed it a lot as my mother.

✓ I enjoyed it a lot, as did my mother.

The original sentence is structurally incomplete because as my mother does not clearly express the comparison. After as, use did my mother to mean that your mother also enjoyed it.

× I feel not really people here prefer more motorbikes, scooties, even cars I would not say are that popular when it is compared to motorbikes.

✓ I do not think so. People here prefer motorbikes and scooters. I would not say that even cars are as popular as motorbikes.

The original sentence lacks a clear clause structure and incorrectly places I feel not really before the main idea. Use I do not think so to express disagreement naturally, and use separate complete sentences to make the comparison clear.

× Even cars I would not say are that popular when it is compared to motorbikes.

✓ I would not say that even cars are as popular as motorbikes.

The pronoun it does not agree clearly with the plural noun cars. Repeating the noun phrase and using the structure as popular as makes the comparison grammatical and easier to understand.