Part 1
試験官
Did you have a bike when you were a child?
受験者
Guess when I was seven years old, in first grade I had got my first bike. It was a small red bike and my parents helped me to ride learn to ride it and I remember feeling really proud when I can write it without.
試験官
Do you think bikes are popular in your country?
受験者
Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because many big cities now have bike sharing schemes that anyone can use. They are a very convenient and efficient way for people to get around narrow, congested streets, especially for short trips and.
Did you have a bike when you were a child?
スコア: 58.0提案: 回答基本切题,也提供了年龄、车的颜色和学骑车的经历,内容方向较好。但开头“Guess”使用不自然,时态混乱(“had got”“can”应改为一般过去时),并且“helped me to ride learn to ride it”和“write it without”存在明显语法和表达错误。建议先直接回答,再按“时间—细节—感受”的顺序展开;结尾应补充完整,例如说明你可以独立骑车了。
例: Yes, I had a bike when I was seven, in my first year of primary school. It was a small red bike, and my parents helped me learn how to ride it. I felt really proud when I was finally able to ride it on my own.
Do you think bikes are popular in your country?
スコア: 68.0提案: 回答直接,观点明确,并使用了“because”解释原因,也提到了共享单车和拥堵街道等具体细节。不过最后的“and”使句子不完整,建议删除或补充完整结果;“get around narrow, congested streets”表达略不自然,可改为“travel through crowded city streets”。还可以增加一个具体结果,例如共享单车能减少交通拥堵或适合短途出行,使答案更完整。
例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially in big cities. Many cities have bike-sharing schemes, so people can easily rent a bike for short trips. Bikes are convenient and affordable, and they also help people travel through crowded streets and avoid traffic jams.
× Guess when I was seven years old, in first grade I had got my first bike.
✓ I guess that when I was seven years old, in first grade, I got my first bike.
句子开头缺少主语,直接使用“Guess”使结构不完整。应改为“I guess”。另外,“in first grade”是插入的时间信息,前后加逗号可以使句子结构更清晰。
× Guess when I was seven years old, in first grade I had got my first bike.
✓ I guess that when I was seven years old, in first grade, I got my first bike.
这里是在讲过去发生的一件事情,没有另一个更早的过去事件作为参照,因此应使用一般过去时“got”,而不是过去完成时“had got”。
× It was a small red bike and my parents helped me to ride learn to ride it and I remember feeling really proud when I can write it without.
✓ It was a small red bike, and my parents helped me learn to ride it. I remember feeling really proud when I could ride it without help.
“helped me to ride learn to ride it”中动词重复且结构错误。搭配“help someone do something”时,应使用“helped me learn”。原句最后的“without”后面缺少补充成分,因此加上“help”,表示“在没有帮助的情况下”。另外,“write”应为“ride”,因为这里表达的是“骑自行车”。
× It was a small red bike and my parents helped me to ride learn to ride it and I remember feeling really proud when I can write it without.
✓ It was a small red bike, and my parents helped me learn to ride it. I remember feeling really proud when I could ride it without help.
整段是在回忆童年时发生的事情,所以“can”应改为过去式“could”。同时,表示骑自行车应使用“ride”,而不是“write”。
× They are a very convenient and efficient way for people to get around narrow, congested streets, especially for short trips and.
✓ They are a very convenient and efficient way for people to get around narrow, congested streets, especially for short trips.
句末的“and”没有连接后续内容,导致句子不完整。删除多余的“and”后,句子结构完整、意思清楚。