Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly, then explain how you managed without a bike. Improve the grammar and word choice: say “borrow their bikes” instead of “go borrow right,” and use “they were busy” rather than “they could say they are busy.” Avoid vague phrases such as “you know” and make the experience more specific. Use a linking word such as “however” or “as a result” to connect your ideas.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. However, some children in my neighborhood did, so I sometimes asked to borrow theirs. Unfortunately, they were not always available, and their parents occasionally refused, so I found it difficult to ride regularly.

提案: Give a clear opinion in the first sentence and support it with one or two specific uses. Avoid repeating “bikes” and “use,” and replace the incorrect adverb “oftenly” with “often.” Use natural expressions such as “for commuting,” “to get around,” and “for exercise.” The final phrase is incomplete, so finish the sentence clearly and add a linking word such as “in addition.”

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially for short-distance travel. Many people use them to commute, run errands, or get around crowded cities. In addition, cycling is a popular form of exercise, and some people ride bikes at weekends for recreation.

× I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but children from my neighborhood had bikes so we could go borrow right from then.

✓ I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but children from my neighborhood had bikes, so we could borrow bikes from them.

Then refers to a time, but the sentence needs a pronoun referring to the children. Use them after the preposition from. A comma before so also clearly separates the two clauses.

× From our neighbors, it was a very bad experience because sometimes they could say they are busy, sometimes their parents could say you know so it was a little bit hard for me.

✓ Borrowing bikes from our neighbors was a very bad experience because sometimes they would say they were busy, and sometimes their parents would say the same thing. Therefore, it was a little difficult for me.

The original sentence begins with From our neighbors, which does not function correctly as the subject of the sentence. Use the gerund phrase Borrowing bikes as the subject. The ideas also need clearer connections with and and therefore.

× From our neighbors, it was a very bad experience because sometimes they could say they are busy, sometimes their parents could say you know so it was a little bit hard for me.

✓ Borrowing bikes from our neighbors was a very bad experience because sometimes they would say they were busy, and sometimes their parents would say the same thing. Therefore, it was a little difficult for me.

The speaker is describing a past experience, so the present-tense verb are should be changed to the past-tense verb were. The past form would say is also natural for describing repeated situations in the past.

× Oftenly we also use the bike.

✓ We also often use bikes.

Oftenly is not the standard adverb in English. Use often. Bikes is more appropriate than the bike when speaking generally about bicycles.

× We use the bikes for sporting activities as well bikes.

✓ We also use bikes for sporting activities.

When talking about bicycles in general, use the plural form bikes without the definite article. The original phrase also repeats the noun unnecessarily.

× We use the bikes for sporting activities as well bikes.

✓ We also use bikes for sporting activities.

The phrase as well bikes is not a complete or correctly structured expression. Place also before the main verb, or use as well at the end without repeating the noun: We use bikes for sporting activities as well.