Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly and develop your response with a specific memory, which you already do well. However, use the correct article in “when I was a child,” maintain the past tense with “loved,” and use “race my friends” instead of “raise my friends.” You could also use “I often raced my friends” to make the sentence more natural and concise.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My parents bought it for my seventh birthday, and I loved riding it to the park every afternoon because it made me feel independent. I often raced my friends and practiced new tricks there.

提案: Your answer has a clear opinion, relevant reasons, and a specific example. Improve the preposition and collocations: people ride bikes “to school or work,” not “through school or work.” Also, add a linking phrase such as “As a result” before the final observation, and avoid repeating “people” by using “cyclists” in the last clause.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short trips and exercise. For example, many students and office workers cycle to school or work, especially in the morning. As a result, you can see plenty of cyclists on the roads during rush hour.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The singular countable noun child requires a determiner. Use the indefinite article a because you are referring to one child in a general way. The phrase when I was a child is the standard expression.

× My parents bought it for my seventh birthday and I love riding it to the park every afternoon because it made me feel independent.

✓ My parents bought it for my seventh birthday and I loved riding it to the park every afternoon because it made me feel independent.

The answer describes a past experience from your childhood, so the verb love should be in the past tense: loved. Keep the verb tenses consistent when talking about completed past events.

× For example, many students and office workers ride bikes through school or work and you can see lots of people cycling in the morning.

✓ For example, many students and office workers ride bikes to school or work, and you can see lots of people cycling in the morning.

Use the preposition to to show movement toward a destination. Through means movement from one side or part of a place to another, so it is not appropriate for destinations such as school or work.