Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly and use the correct past tense: “My father bought me a bicycle.” Avoid repeating “when I was a child” and starting sentences with “so.” Use a natural adjective such as “exciting” instead of “gorgeous” to describe receiving a bike. Add one specific detail, such as where you rode it or how often you used it.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father bought it for me on my eighth birthday, and I was really excited to receive it. I often rode it around my neighborhood with my friends after school.

提案: Give a clear answer first, then explain why. Reduce fillers such as “uh” and “umm,” and avoid the unnecessary word “so” after the introductory phrase. Use natural expressions such as “ride a bike,” “get around,” and “compared with cars.” Be more specific by mentioning advantages like avoiding traffic, saving money, or exercising.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among students and people living in crowded cities. They are convenient because people can avoid traffic and save money on fuel and parking. However, cars are still more common for long journeys or when the weather is bad.

× Yeah, when I was a child, so my father was bought me bicycle.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child, my father bought me a bicycle.

Was bought is an incorrect passive construction because my father is the person who performed the action. Use the active past-tense form bought because the sentence describes a completed action in the past.

× Yeah, when I was a child, so my father was bought me bicycle.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child, my father bought me a bicycle.

A singular countable noun such as bicycle needs an article. Use a bicycle because this is the first time the bicycle is mentioned.

× So that was very gorgeous moment for me because I'm very excited about my new cycle.

✓ So that was a very gorgeous moment for me because I was very excited about my new cycle.

The whole experience happened in the past, so am must change to was. Keep the verb tense consistent when describing a past event.

× So that was very gorgeous moment for me because I'm very excited about my new cycle.

✓ So that was a very gorgeous moment for me because I was very excited about my new cycle.

Moment is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. Use a very gorgeous moment.

× Yeah, actually if you have a uh, bike, so you can uh, go everywhere and uh, every situation because umm, bike is very easy uh, to go on as compared to car.

✓ Yeah, actually, if you have a bike, you can go everywhere and in every situation because a bike is very easy to ride compared with a car.

In a standard conditional sentence, do not use so after an if-clause. Use if...you can... instead. Avoiding so makes the conditional structure grammatically complete.

× Yeah, actually if you have a uh, bike, so you can uh, go everywhere and uh, every situation because umm, bike is very easy uh, to go on as compared to car.

✓ Yeah, actually, if you have a bike, you can go everywhere and in every situation because a bike is very easy to ride compared with a car.

Use the preposition in before every situation because we say in a situation. Also, ride is the natural verb for using a bike; the expression go on is not appropriate here.

× Yeah, actually if you have a uh, bike, so you can uh, go everywhere and uh, every situation because umm, bike is very easy uh, to go on as compared to car.

✓ Yeah, actually, if you have a bike, you can go everywhere and in every situation because a bike is very easy to ride compared with a car.

The singular countable nouns bike and car need articles when they are used in this comparison. Use a bike and a car. The noun bike also needs an article in the phrase a bike is very easy to ride.