Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly and add a clear supporting detail, but avoid repetition. The phrase “I learned it” is incorrect in this context; say “I learned to ride it.” You could also mention how often you used the bike or how you felt when you first learned to ride it.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was about ten. My parents gave it to me as a birthday present, and they helped me learn to ride it in the neighborhood near our house. I used it almost every day to visit my friends, so I became quite confident after a few weeks.

提案: The answer has a clear opinion and relevant reasons, but improve the grammar and word choice. Say “ride bicycles” rather than “ride in bicycles,” and use “crowded cities” instead of “clouded cities.” Avoid connecting too many ideas with “and”; use linking words such as “especially” and “as a result” to make the answer more coherent. Give a specific example of where people ride bicycles.

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country, especially in crowded cities. Many people ride them to work or school because cycling is cheap and convenient. In addition, bikes are useful for avoiding traffic, so they are particularly common during rush hour.

× I often see many people who ride in bicycles to work or to school because it's very cheap and convenient and usually in the clouded cities.

✓ I often see many people who ride bicycles to work or to school because it is very cheap and convenient, especially in crowded cities.

The verb ride is normally used directly with a vehicle when referring to the activity: ride bicycles, ride bikes, or ride buses. The preposition in is not needed here.

× I often see many people who ride in bicycles to work or to school because it's very cheap and convenient and usually in the clouded cities.

✓ I often see many people who ride bicycles to work or to school because it is very cheap and convenient, especially in crowded cities.

Clouded means covered by clouds, so it does not describe cities with many people or vehicles. The correct adjective is crowded. Also, especially is more suitable than usually because the sentence highlights the place where cycling is common.