Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear, relevant, and well developed. However, “I have had great memories with it” is unnatural; say “I have fond memories of it” instead. Also, avoid repeating “I used to” by combining the two activities with “and.”

例: Yes, I had a small bike when I was a child. It was a gift from my father, so I have fond memories of it. I used to ride it in the park with my friends, and we often raced each other for fun.

提案: You give relevant reasons and use a good linking structure with “not only...but also.” However, do not begin a separate sentence with “Because”; connect it to the previous sentence. Also, use parallel adjectives in “cheap and convenient,” and make the final reason grammatically parallel by saying “because cycling is healthy.”

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially in rural areas, because people use them to travel short distances. They are popular not only because they are cheap and convenient, but also because cycling is a healthy form of exercise. In addition, they are an affordable alternative to cars and motorbikes.

× I have had great memories with it and I used to play in the park with my friends and I used to race with my friends.

✓ I have had great memories of it, and I used to play in the park with my friends and race with them.

The preposition of is used when memories are connected to a person, object, or experience. The preposition with is not natural in this context. The second occurrence of with my friends is also replaced with them to avoid unnecessary repetition.

× Uh, because people use them to travel for short distances.

✓ This is because people use them to travel for short distances.

The original sentence begins with because, so it is a dependent clause and cannot stand alone as a complete sentence. Adding This is creates a complete sentence. You can also connect it to the previous sentence with a comma and because.

× They are popular not only because they are cheaper and convenient, but also riding a bicycle in the morning is really healthy.

✓ They are popular not only because they are cheaper and convenient, but also because riding a bicycle in the morning is really healthy.

The not only ... but also structure should connect grammatically parallel elements. The first part uses because, so the second part should also use because. This makes the sentence structure balanced and clear.