Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a clearer topic sentence and correct the sentence structure: say “My dad gave it to me” rather than “my dad gifted to me.” Use the past tense consistently because you are describing childhood memories; “it was a precious memory” is more accurate than “it’s.” The answer is relevant and well developed, but “quite a lot of memories” is slightly unnatural, and “roam around” could be replaced with the more natural “ride around.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My dad gave it to me when I turned seven, and I was absolutely thrilled. I used to ride it around the neighborhood and play with my friends. Looking back, it brings back many happy memories, so it was very special to me.

提案: Answer directly with “Yes, bikes are very popular...” and use plural forms consistently: “people prefer them” and “governments encourage people to use them.” Replace “the environmental pollutions” with “air pollution” or “environmental pollution.” The response is incomplete and ends abruptly, so finish the idea by explaining what pollution or traffic problems bikes can reduce. Use linking words such as “Moreover” or “As a result” to connect the reasons clearly.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in large cities. Many people prefer them because they are convenient, affordable, and environmentally friendly. Moreover, local governments encourage cycling to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. As a result, more people are choosing bikes for short journeys.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child my dad gifted to me when I turned 7.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My dad gave it to me when I turned seven.

The original sentence incorrectly joins two independent clauses without proper punctuation or a conjunction. Separating them into two sentences makes the structure clear. In natural English, gave it to me is more appropriate than gifted to me in this context.

× I had quite a lot of memories with that bike.

✓ I have quite a lot of memories of that bike.

The preposition of is used when referring to memories connected with a person, object, or experience. With is less natural in this expression. The present tense have is suitable because these memories still exist.

× People always prefer it as a convenient mode of transportation.

✓ People generally prefer them as a convenient mode of transportation.

The noun bikes is plural, so it must be replaced by the plural pronoun them. The adverb generally is also more natural than always when making a general statement about people’s preferences.

× The interesting part is the governments also encourage to use them to reduce the environmental pollutions and to reduce.

✓ The interesting part is that governments also encourage people to use them to reduce environmental pollution.

The clause after the interesting part is needs the conjunction that. The verb encourage normally requires an object before the infinitive, so encourage people to use them is correct. The phrase environmental pollution is uncountable and does not normally take a plural form or the article the when referring to pollution in general. The original sentence is incomplete because it ends with to reduce.