Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly first, then add one clear reason. Avoid repeating phrases such as “purchase a bike” and “because I think,” and do not change from talking about your childhood to buying a bike in the future without a clear transition. Use accurate and natural vocabulary, such as “owning a bike is convenient” and “rising fuel prices.” Keep the answer to two or three well-connected sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. However, I would like to buy one in the future because rising fuel prices make cycling a convenient and affordable way to travel.

提案: Give a direct answer in the first sentence and replace unnatural expressions such as “one of the most seen vehicles” with “one of the most common vehicles.” Organize the reasons with a linking word, such as “Furthermore,” and avoid repeating your conclusion at the end. Use the correct plural form consistently: “bikes are” and “they do not require.” Add a specific reference to Pakistan to make the response more developed.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in Pakistan. They are relatively inexpensive, so many middle-class people can afford them. Furthermore, they are easy to learn to ride and are practical for commuting, especially when fuel prices are high.

× I did not have a bike when I was a child but if given a chance I would definitely go on and purchase a bike because I think cycling purchase a bike because I think with today's because I think with today's increasing fuel prices bike having a personal convince having a personal vehicle such as especially a bike is very convenient

✓ I did not have a bike when I was a child, but if I had the chance, I would definitely buy one. I think that, with fuel prices increasing these days, having a personal vehicle, especially a bike, is very convenient.

The original answer contains repeated words, incomplete phrases, and several ideas joined together without a clear sentence structure. Organize the ideas into complete sentences, remove repetitions, and use a clear subject and verb in each sentence.

× I think bikes are one of the most seen vehicles in our country

✓ I think bikes are among the most common vehicles in our country.

Most seen is not the natural adjective for describing vehicles that are frequently used or found. Use common or widely used instead.

× especially because they are cheaper than other vehicles that you would find that most middle class people can afford in Pakistan

✓ This is especially true because bikes are cheaper than other vehicles, and most middle-class people in Pakistan can afford them.

The original sentence contains two that-clauses joined incorrectly. Separate the ideas with and, and use them to refer clearly to bikes.

× bikes are one of those vehicles that does not require too much training

✓ Bikes are one of those types of vehicles that do not require much training.

The relative pronoun that refers to vehicles, which is plural, so the verb must be do not require rather than does not require. Also, much training is more natural than too much training when describing the general amount needed.

× can be easily learned to ride

✓ are easy to learn to ride.

A bike cannot naturally be learned to ride. Use the adjective easy with the infinitive structure easy to learn to ride. The subject bikes also requires the plural verb are.

× that's why I think bike yes so yes bikes are

✓ That is why I think bikes are very popular in my country.

The original phrase is incomplete and contains unnecessary repetition. Use a complete sentence with the subject bikes, the verb are, and the adjective popular to answer the examiner's question directly.