Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief reason or a short anecdote. Avoid awkward phrases like “my young ages.” Use linking words if you add more detail. Aim for 2–3 sentences total.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. Although many kids owned one, my family couldn't afford it, so I usually walked or used public transport to go to school.

提案: Make the statement clearer and use linking words to connect ideas. Replace vague phrases like “as long as” with precise connectors (because/since). Give a specific example or brief reason to support your opinion. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country, especially in cities. This is because many young people use them for delivery jobs, and they are cheap and convenient for short trips.

× Honestly, I didn't have a bike even though it was a popular option at my young ages.

✓ Honestly, I didn't have a bike even though they were a popular option when I was young.

The phrase 'my young ages' is incorrect; use 'when I was young' or 'in my childhood.' Also 'a popular option' conflicts with plural reference; if referring to bikes in general, 'they were a popular option' is better. This fixes singular/plural agreement and uses a natural time expression. Suggestion: say 'when I was young' and match singular/plural consistently. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× I believe that bikes are among the most popular types of transport in my country and city currently as long as a lot of youngsters use them for the delivery work.

✓ I believe that bikes are among the most popular types of transport in my country and city currently, since many young people use them for delivery work.

The original has awkward phrasing: 'as long as' is conditional and incorrect here; use 'since' or 'because' to give a reason. 'A lot of youngsters' is informal; 'many young people' is clearer. 'the delivery work' should be 'delivery work' without the definite article. Also add a comma before the reason clause. Suggestion: use 'since many young people use them for delivery work.' Grammar problem type ID: 17