Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Use the past tense consistently: say “I had” and “I was seven years old,” not “I do have” or “it was almost like 7 years old.” Answer the question directly in the first sentence, then explain why you got the bike. Use natural expressions such as “learn to ride a bike” and connect your ideas with “because” or “also.” Avoid unclear phrases such as “my classmates in kindergarten or have a bike.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was about seven years old. It was my first bike, and I got it because I wanted to learn how to ride. Also, many of my classmates in kindergarten had bikes, so I wanted one too.

提案: Use the plural form “bikes” when speaking generally and say “traffic congestion,” not “transit congestion.” Give a complete answer with a clear reason and a specific example. The final sentence is incomplete, so explain how cycling is used in Seoul or in the city where you live. Use a linking word such as “especially” or “however” to show contrast.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in South Korea, especially in Seoul. There is a lot of traffic congestion, so some people use bicycles for short journeys. I live in a small city near Seoul, and cycling is also common there because there are many bike paths and parks.

× I do have a bike when I was a child.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child.

The question asks about a past experience, so the past-tense verb had is needed instead of the present-tense form do have.

× It was almost like 7 years old.

✓ I was about seven years old.

The original sentence has an incorrect subject and structure. Use I was about seven years old to describe your age. Use about seven rather than like 7 in this context.

× That was my first time.

✓ That was my first bike.

The expression my first time is incomplete in this context because it does not clearly state what was being experienced. My first bike is the appropriate noun phrase.

× I I've got the bike because I want to learn a bike.

✓ I got the bike because I wanted to learn how to ride a bike.

The sentence refers to a past event, so got and wanted should be used. In English, we say learn how to ride a bike, not learn a bike.

× Firstly my classmates in kindergarten or have a bike.

✓ First, my classmates in kindergarten had bikes.

The sentence describes the past, so had is required instead of have. The conjunction or is unnecessary and should be removed.

× I think bike is really popular in Korea.

✓ I think bikes are really popular in Korea.

The sentence makes a general statement about bicycles, so the plural noun bikes is needed. The plural subject also requires the plural verb are.

× There are many transit congestion in Seoul.

✓ There is a lot of traffic congestion in Seoul.

Congestion is generally an uncountable noun, so many cannot be used with it. Use a lot of instead. The singular uncountable noun congestion also requires there is.

× I lived in near Seoul like a small city, but there are.

✓ I lived near Seoul, in a small city, but there was a lot of traffic congestion there.

Near is not used with in, so say lived near Seoul. The phrase a small city needs the article a, and the final clause must include a complete verb phrase.

× I lived in near Seoul like a small city, but there are.

✓ I lived near Seoul, in a small city, but there was a lot of traffic congestion there.

The expression there are is incomplete because it is not followed by a noun phrase. Since traffic congestion is uncountable and the statement refers to the past, use there was a lot of traffic congestion there.

× I lived in near Seoul like a small city, but there are.

✓ I lived near Seoul, in a small city, but there was a lot of traffic congestion there.

The original sentence contains an incomplete final clause and an unclear phrase, like a small city. A complete sentence needs a subject, a verb, and a clear complement. The corrected version expresses the intended meaning clearly.