Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly in the first sentence and avoid repeating the idea that you did not have a bike. The phrase “so that now I did not have a bike” is grammatically incorrect and unclear; use “so I didn’t learn to cycle until recently” instead. You could also add a specific detail about how you learned to ride. Keep the answer to two or three concise sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my parents were worried that I might fall and hurt myself. As a result, I didn’t learn to cycle until recently, when a friend taught me in a quiet park.

提案: Give a clear opinion at the beginning, such as “Yes, bikes are becoming increasingly popular.” Avoid repeating “popular” and replace “it is growing popular” with “their popularity is growing” or “more people are taking up cycling.” Use a linking phrase such as “This is mainly because” and provide one specific result, such as increased cycling for commuting or exercise.

例: Yes, bikes are becoming increasingly popular in my country. This is mainly because many cities have built dedicated bike lanes, making cycling safer and more convenient. As a result, more people are using bikes to commute to work and get exercise.

× Unfortunately, my parents didn't let me get a bike because they were so afraid that I would fall and I recently learned how to cycle so that now I did not have a bike when I was a kid.

✓ Unfortunately, my parents didn't let me get a bike because they were so afraid that I would fall, and I only recently learned how to cycle, so I didn't have a bike when I was a kid.

So that usually introduces a purpose or intended result, but the speaker is expressing a simple result. Use so instead. The sentence also needs clearer punctuation to separate the coordinated ideas. Try using so to connect a cause with its result.

× Unfortunately, my parents didn't let me get a bike because they were so afraid that I would fall and I recently learned how to cycle so that now I did not have a bike when I was a kid.

✓ Unfortunately, my parents didn't let me get a bike because they were so afraid that I would fall, and I only recently learned how to cycle, so I didn't have a bike when I was a kid.

The phrase when I was a kid refers to a finished period in the past, so didn't have is the appropriate past-tense form. Now I did not have creates a time inconsistency. Use the past simple when describing a past situation.

× They have grown to be even more popular recently because we have bike lanes now which we didn't before and since the creation of them, there have been lots of cyclists.

✓ They have become even more popular recently because we have bike lanes now, which we didn't have before. Since these lanes were created, there have been lots of cyclists.

The relative clause which we didn't before is incomplete because the verb have is missing. The original sentence also contains too many ideas joined together, which makes its structure difficult to follow. Use which we didn't have before and divide long sentences when they contain several separate ideas.

× So I think it is growing popular.

✓ So I think cycling is becoming more popular.

The pronoun it has an unclear reference: it could refer to bikes, bike lanes, or cycling. Use the specific noun cycling to make the meaning clear. Also, becoming more popular is the more natural expression for describing an increasing level of popularity.