Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ควรตอบให้ตรงกับคำถามในอดีต โดยใช้ past tense เช่น “I had one” แทน “I have one” และใช้สำนวนที่เป็นธรรมชาติกว่า “It’s in poor condition” หรือ “It’s in a state of disrepair” แทน “in ruin state” นอกจากนี้ ควรเพิ่มรายละเอียดสั้น ๆ เช่น ความถี่ในการขี่หรือสถานที่ที่เคยขี่ เพื่อให้คำตอบสมบูรณ์และน่าสนใจขึ้น และหลีกเลี่ยงคำเติมที่ไม่จำเป็น เช่น “you know” และ “some kind of”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I used to ride it around my neighborhood after school, but it is now in poor condition because I haven’t used it for years.

提案: ควรเริ่มด้วยคำตอบที่ชัดเจนและถูกต้อง เช่น “They used to be popular, but they are less popular now.” แก้ไวยากรณ์ “it used to be a popular” เป็น “they used to be popular” และ “they using phone” เป็น “they use their phones” หรือ “they are using their phones.” เหตุผลควรเชื่อมโยงอย่างเป็นระบบด้วยคำเช่น “However” และ “because” โดยอธิบายให้เฉพาะเจาะจงว่า คนจำนวนมากเลือกใช้รถยนต์หรือใช้โทรศัพท์มากขึ้น แทนการพูดกว้าง ๆ ว่า “people are not connecting to each other.” ควรลดการใช้ “you know,” “like” และ “some kind of” ซึ่งทำให้คำตอบไม่กระชับและฟังไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ

例: Bikes used to be quite popular in my country, especially among children. However, they are less common nowadays because many people prefer to travel by car or motorbike, and children often spend their free time using electronic devices. That said, cycling is still popular in some parks and rural areas.

× Yes, I have one but right now it is some kind of in ruin state, you know?

✓ Yes, I had one, but right now it is in some kind of ruined state, you know?

The question asks about a past situation when you were a child, so have should be changed to the past-tense form had. Use the past tense when describing possession during a completed period in the past.

× Yes, I have one but right now it is some kind of in ruin state, you know?

✓ Yes, I had one, but right now it is in some kind of ruined state, you know?

The preposition in should come before the phrase some kind of ruined state. The original word order, some kind of in ruin state, is incorrect. Pay attention to the normal prepositional phrase structure: be in + a state.

× Yes, I have one but right now it is some kind of in ruin state, you know?

✓ Yes, I had one, but right now it is in some kind of ruined state, you know?

Ruin is a noun or verb, but it cannot directly describe the condition of the bike in this sentence. Use the adjective ruined to describe something that is damaged or in poor condition.

× Yes, I have one but right now it is some kind of in ruin state, you know?

✓ Yes, I had one, but right now it is in some kind of ruined state, you know?

A singular countable noun such as state normally needs a determiner. The expression some kind of ruined state provides the necessary determiner before state. Remember to use a, an, the, or another determiner with singular countable nouns.

× Well, it used to be a popular but right now due to some you know like changes like people are not connecting to each other anymore like all day they using phone, electronic device, some kind of that it's just different.

✓ Well, bikes used to be popular, but right now, due to some changes, people are not connecting with each other anymore. They use phones and electronic devices all day, so things are just different.

Popular is an adjective and is not followed by a singular noun in the phrase be popular, so the article a is unnecessary. Do not use a before an adjective when no singular noun follows it.

× Well, it used to be a popular but right now due to some you know like changes like people are not connecting to each other anymore like all day they using phone, electronic device, some kind of that it's just different.

✓ Well, bikes used to be popular, but right now, due to some changes, people are not connecting with each other anymore. They use phones and electronic devices all day, so things are just different.

The usual expression for having a relationship or communication with other people is connect with each other. Use with rather than to in this context.

× Well, it used to be a popular but right now due to some you know like changes like people are not connecting to each other anymore like all day they using phone, electronic device, some kind of that it's just different.

✓ Well, bikes used to be popular, but right now, due to some changes, people are not connecting with each other anymore. They use phones and electronic devices all day, so things are just different.

The sentence refers to people in general using phones and electronic devices, so the plural forms phones and electronic devices are appropriate. Use plural nouns when speaking about items generally rather than one specific item.

× Well, it used to be a popular but right now due to some you know like changes like people are not connecting to each other anymore like all day they using phone, electronic device, some kind of that it's just different.

✓ Well, bikes used to be popular, but right now, due to some changes, people are not connecting with each other anymore. They use phones and electronic devices all day, so things are just different.

The clause they using is missing a finite verb. For a general present-time habit, use the present simple form they use. If you want to emphasize an activity happening at this moment, use they are using.

× Well, it used to be a popular but right now due to some you know like changes like people are not connecting to each other anymore like all day they using phone, electronic device, some kind of that it's just different.

✓ Well, bikes used to be popular, but right now, due to some changes, people are not connecting with each other anymore. They use phones and electronic devices all day, so things are just different.

The original sentence contains many repeated fillers and clauses joined without a clear structure. Divide the ideas into separate sentences and use clear connectors such as but and so. Organizing one main idea per sentence makes the answer easier to understand.