Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and use the past tense consistently. Avoid repeating the same idea, and use natural phrases such as “I owned a blue bicycle.” Add one specific detail about how or where you used it. Also, say “an adventure-style bicycle” rather than “looks like adventure style.”

例: Yes, I did. I owned a blue, adventure-style bicycle when I was a child. I often rode it around my neighborhood after school, and I really enjoyed the freedom it gave me.

提案: Begin with a clear opinion and support it with one or two logically connected reasons. Use accurate grammar, including “a busy city,” “has,” and “heavy traffic.” Replace “bicycle road” with “bike lane” or “cycling path,” and avoid repeating “so.” Complete the answer with a concluding sentence because the current response is unfinished.

例: I don’t think bikes are very popular in my city. It has heavy traffic and very few bike lanes, so cycling can be dangerous. However, bikes are becoming more popular among young people because they are affordable and environmentally friendly.

× Yes, absolutely. I have I own stumbled bicycle which color blue, which color is blue and which looks like adventure style when I was small.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I owned a blue bicycle with an adventurous style when I was young.

The original sentence contains several incomplete and incorrectly connected clauses, including I have I own and which color blue. Use one clear subject-verb structure: I owned a bicycle. Avoid repeating the same idea in multiple incorrect relative clauses.

× Yes, absolutely. I have I own stumbled bicycle which color blue, which color is blue and which looks like adventure style when I was small.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I owned a blue bicycle with an adventurous style when I was young.

The question asks about a childhood experience, so the answer should use the past tense. Use owned instead of have or own because the ownership happened in the past.

× Yes, absolutely. I have I own stumbled bicycle which color blue, which color is blue and which looks like adventure style when I was small.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I owned a blue bicycle with an adventurous style when I was young.

A singular countable noun such as bicycle needs an article when it is mentioned generally. Use a bicycle. Also, style is singular and countable, so use an before the vowel sound in adventurous: an adventurous style.

× Yes, absolutely. I have I own stumbled bicycle which color blue, which color is blue and which looks like adventure style when I was small.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I owned a blue bicycle with an adventurous style when I was young.

Blue should be placed directly before the noun it describes: a blue bicycle. Adventure is a noun, but the adjective adventurous is needed to describe style.

× Well, I don't think so because I live in the busy city which have a boss towering street and have heavy traffic so it's difficult to find a bicycle road on the street. So it's I think it's dangerous to ride bicycle in the

✓ Well, I don't think so because I live in a busy city that has towering buildings and heavy traffic. Therefore, I think it is dangerous to ride a bicycle on the streets.

The subject city is third-person singular, so the verb must be has, not have. In the relative clause, use that has to agree with the singular subject city.

× Well, I don't think so because I live in the busy city which have a boss towering street and have heavy traffic so it's difficult to find a bicycle road on the street. So it's I think it's dangerous to ride bicycle in the

✓ Well, I don't think so because I live in a busy city that has towering buildings and heavy traffic. Therefore, I think it is dangerous to ride a bicycle on the streets.

The original response is a run-on sentence and contains the unclear sequence So it's I think it's. Separate the ideas into complete sentences and use therefore to introduce the conclusion. This makes the answer clearer and easier to follow.

× Well, I don't think so because I live in the busy city which have a boss towering street and have heavy traffic so it's difficult to find a bicycle road on the street. So it's I think it's dangerous to ride bicycle in the

✓ Well, I don't think so because I live in a busy city that has towering buildings and heavy traffic. Therefore, I think it is dangerous to ride a bicycle on the streets.

The phrase boss towering street does not correctly describe the city. Use a suitable adjective-noun combination such as towering buildings. Also, bicycle road is not the usual expression; bicycle lane or streets is more natural.

× Well, I don't think so because I live in the busy city which have a boss towering street and have heavy traffic so it's difficult to find a bicycle road on the street. So it's I think it's dangerous to ride bicycle in the

✓ Well, I don't think so because I live in a busy city that has towering buildings and heavy traffic. Therefore, I think it is dangerous to ride a bicycle on the streets.

Use a before busy city when introducing one city in general. The singular countable noun bicycle also needs an article, so say ride a bicycle, not ride bicycle.