Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答直接，且提供了原因和经历，符合基本结构。但“wanna”过于口语化，不适合考试；“keep my safety”应改为“keep me safe”，“as when I was a child”表达不自然；“I failed, fell down”需要改为“I failed and fell down”。建议使用更自然的连接词，并将童年经历描述得更清楚。注意控制在2—3句，避免使用“you know”这类填充语。

例: No, I didn’t. My parents were worried about my safety because I couldn’t control a bike very well at that age. I once tried riding one with a friend, but I lost my balance and fell off.

提案: 回答表达了“自行车很受欢迎”的观点，也尝试给出健康方面的原因，但句子结构混乱，很多短语无法正确连接，影响清晰度。例如，“like keep healthy a ride bike”应改为“like riding bikes to stay healthy”，“people has it”应改为“many people own one”。建议先给出主题句，再用because解释原因，最后补充一个具体场景或结果；同时避免重复使用“many”和“popular”。

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among young people. Many people ride them to stay fit, and they are also a convenient way to travel short distances. In some cities, bike-sharing services have made cycling even more common.

× No, I didn't, because my parents wanna keep my safety and I can't control it very well as when I was a child.

✓ No, I didn't, because my parents wanted to keep me safe, and I couldn't control it very well when I was a child.

问题发生在过去，所以谓语动词要使用过去式。wanna 应改为 wanted，can't 应改为 couldn't。回答过去经历时，要保持时态一致。

× No, I didn't, because my parents wanna keep my safety and I can't control it very well as when I was a child.

✓ No, I didn't, because my parents wanted to keep me safe, and I couldn't control it very well when I was a child.

as when 的连用不正确。表示“当我还是孩子时”只需要使用 when，不需要在前面加 as。

× I tried it with my friend but I failed, fell down, you know?

✓ I tried riding it with my friend, but I failed and fell down, you know?

failed 和 fell down 是两个并列的动作，需要用并列连词 and 连接。不能只用逗号直接连接两个动词。

× Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keep healthy a ride bike a great choice and many many bike like very popular and beautiful sights like me people has it.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keeping healthy. Riding a bike is a great choice, and many people have bikes.

like 后面表示“喜欢做某事”时，可以接动名词，因此 keep 要改为 keeping。表示“骑自行车”时，ride bike 需要改为 riding a bike。

× Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keep healthy a ride bike a great choice and many many bike like very popular and beautiful sights like me people has it.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keeping healthy. Riding a bike is a great choice, and many people have bikes.

many 后面必须接可数名词复数，所以 bike 应改为 bikes。表示“许多自行车”时要使用 many bikes。

× Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keep healthy a ride bike a great choice and many many bike like very popular and beautiful sights like me people has it.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keeping healthy. Riding a bike is a great choice, and many people have bikes.

people 是复数主语，后面的动词应该使用复数形式 have，不能使用第三人称单数形式 has。

× Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keep healthy a ride bike a great choice and many many bike like very popular and beautiful sights like me people has it.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keeping healthy. Riding a bike is a great choice, and many people have bikes.

前文谈论的是复数名词 bikes，因此代词不能使用单数 it。这里直接重复使用 bikes，或使用复数代词 them，都比 it 更合适。

× Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keep healthy a ride bike a great choice and many many bike like very popular and beautiful sights like me people has it.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular because young people like keeping healthy. Riding a bike is a great choice, and many people have bikes.

原句把多个不完整的短语和句子连续放在一起，缺少必要的谓语、连接词和标点，导致句子结构混乱。表达多个观点时，应拆分成完整句子，并确保每个句子都有清楚的主语和谓语。