Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答基本切题，也提供了年龄、父母和骑车带来的收获，内容较完整。但不要用“Exactly”作为回答开头，因为问题不是需要确认的信息；“to learn how to ride it, to play”结构不自然，应改为“so that I could learn to ride it and play with my friends”；“from from”是重复错误；“my confidence”应改为“self-confidence”，“patient, persistent”最好改为名词“patience and persistence”。最后的“and so on”较笼统，可以补充一个具体结果，例如骑车让你更独立或经常和朋友一起玩。

例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a bike when I was seven so that I could learn to ride it and play with my friends. Cycling helped me develop self-confidence, patience, and persistence. I also became more independent because I could ride to nearby places on my own.

提案: 回答观点明确，也比较了年轻人和老年人的使用方式，这是较好的内容组织。不过“Exactly”不适合直接回答此类观点问题；“different people of different ages”重复，应改为“people of all ages”；“Like young people use”缺少自然的连接方式，可改为“For example, young people use bikes...”或“while young people use...” 。注意冠词和词序错误：“a very great convenience”应改为“very convenient”，“used”应与现在时一致，改为“use”，“bikes are can make”应改为“bikes can make”。“chat with their peers”与骑车的关系不够清楚，可以说明老年人骑车去公园或市场。

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in cities. People of all ages use them for different purposes: young adults often cycle to work because it is convenient and environmentally friendly, while older people may ride to parks or local markets. As a result, bikes help people save money and avoid traffic jams.

× Exactly, My parents bought me a bike when I was 7 years old and they wanted me to learn how to ride it, to play with my friends.

✓ Exactly, my parents bought me a bike when I was 7 years old, and they wanted me to learn how to ride it and play with my friends.

“learn how to ride it, to play”中的两个不定式结构连接不自然。应使用并列结构“learn ... and play ...”。同时，两个完整分句之间应使用逗号和连词“and”连接。

× I learned a lot of skills from from riding the bike, like my confidence, how to be patient, persistent and so on.

✓ I learned a lot of skills from riding the bike, like my confidence, how to be patient, persistent and so on.

“from from”重复使用了介词“from”，应删除一个。

× I learned a lot of skills from from riding the bike, like my confidence, how to be patient, persistent and so on.

✓ I learned a lot of skills from riding the bike, such as how to build my confidence, be patient, and be persistent.

原句中“my confidence”和“how to be patient”结构不平行，表达也不够清楚。列举多个技能时，最好使用平行结构，例如“how to build my confidence, be patient, and be persistent”。

× Like young people use bikes to go to work, it's very a very great convenience, while older people used it to chat with their peers or go to other places.

✓ For example, young people use bikes to go to work because bikes are very convenient, while older people use them to chat with their peers or go to other places.

“Like young people use...”不能直接作为完整句子的开头；这里应使用“For example”引出例子。此外，原句中多个分句连接混乱，改为“because”和“while”连接后，句子结构更加完整清晰。

× Like young people use bikes to go to work, it's very a very great convenience, while older people used it to chat with their peers or go to other places.

✓ For example, young people use bikes to go to work because bikes are very convenient, while older people use them to chat with their peers or go to other places.

题目询问的是自行车在国家中的普遍情况，应该使用一般现在时。主语“older people”表示复数，所以应使用“use”，而不是过去式“used”。

× Like young people use bikes to go to work, it's very a very great convenience, while older people used it to chat with their peers or go to other places.

✓ For example, young people use bikes to go to work because bikes are very convenient, while older people use them to chat with their peers or go to other places.

“bikes”是复数名词，代词应使用复数形式“them”，不能使用单数形式“it”。

× Like young people use bikes to go to work, it's very a very great convenience, while older people used it to chat with their peers or go to other places.

✓ For example, young people use bikes to go to work because bikes are very convenient, while older people use them to chat with their peers or go to other places.

“very a very great convenience”的副词位置错误。“very”不能放在不定冠词“a”之前。这里用形容词“convenient”描述自行车很方便，表达更自然。

× You know bikes are umm can make people more efficient.

✓ You know, bikes can make people more efficient.

情态动词“can”前面不能再使用“are”。“are can make”形成了错误的动词结构，应删除“are”，保留“can make”。