Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly in the past tense because the question refers to your childhood. Correct the grammar in “I have a bike” to “I had a bike,” and say “it was a birthday present from my mother.” Avoid the unclear ending; explain simply that riding it gave you independence and allowed you to explore your neighborhood. Use a linking word such as “because” to connect the reason naturally.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a birthday present from my mother, and I loved riding it around my neighborhood. It gave me a sense of freedom because I could explore places by myself. I also learned how to balance and control the bike at a young age.

提案: Give a clear present-day answer first, such as “Yes, bikes are quite popular in China.” The phrase “as well acknowledged by people” is unnatural, and “that’s a totally by country” is unclear and should be removed. Also, avoid relying mainly on the 1980s; explain current reasons, such as bike-sharing services, short-distance travel, low cost, and environmental benefits. Use specific vocabulary and a logical structure: opinion, reason, and example.

例: Yes, bikes are still quite popular in China, especially in large cities. Many people use them for short journeys because they are affordable and convenient. In addition, bike-sharing services have made cycling more accessible. Although cars and public transport are also common, bicycles remain a practical choice for avoiding traffic.

× Yeah, I have a bike which is a birthday present for my mother and I really liked to ride it when I was a child because that gave me the first experience to like travelling around the place I know or I finally get managed to control where I want to go.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike that was a birthday present from my mother, and I really liked riding it when I was a child because it gave me my first experience of travelling around places I knew and eventually managing to control where I wanted to go.

The question asks about your childhood, so the main verbs describing that past situation should be in the past tense: have becomes had, is becomes was, know becomes knew, and want becomes wanted. Also, get managed is incorrect; managed is the correct past-tense form.

× Yeah, I have a bike which is a birthday present for my mother and I really liked to ride it when I was a child because that gave me the first experience to like travelling around the place I know or I finally get managed to control where I want to go.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike that was a birthday present from my mother, and I really liked riding it when I was a child because it gave me my first experience of travelling around places I knew and eventually managing to control where I wanted to go.

The verb like is normally followed by a gerund when describing an activity: liked riding. The expressions experience of travelling and managing to control also require the -ing form after of and after the parallel structure.

× Yeah, I have a bike which is a birthday present for my mother and I really liked to ride it when I was a child because that gave me the first experience to like travelling around the place I know or I finally get managed to control where I want to go.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike that was a birthday present from my mother, and I really liked riding it when I was a child because it gave me my first experience of travelling around places I knew and eventually managing to control where I wanted to go.

Use from to show who gave the present: a present from my mother. Use the fixed expression experience of travelling, not experience to travelling.

× Yeah, I have a bike which is a birthday present for my mother and I really liked to ride it when I was a child because that gave me the first experience to like travelling around the place I know or I finally get managed to control where I want to go.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike that was a birthday present from my mother, and I really liked riding it when I was a child because it gave me my first experience of travelling around places I knew and eventually managing to control where I wanted to go.

Or presents an alternative, but the meaning here is a sequence of related experiences. Use and to connect them. The word eventually also clearly shows the later result.

× Yeah, I have a bike which is a birthday present for my mother and I really liked to ride it when I was a child because that gave me the first experience to like travelling around the place I know or I finally get managed to control where I want to go.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike that was a birthday present from my mother, and I really liked riding it when I was a child because it gave me my first experience of travelling around places I knew and eventually managing to control where I wanted to go.

Places is more natural than the singular place because you are describing travelling around different areas. Use plural nouns when referring to multiple locations in general.

× Yeah, because I come from China and as well acknowledged by people, this is a big country with a lot of bikes I think in early eighties, our country has like tons of bikes in the streets and that's a totally by country.

✓ Yeah. I come from China, and, as is widely acknowledged, it is a large country with many bicycles. I think that in the early eighties, there were tons of bicycles on the streets, and cycling was very common throughout the country.

The original sentence contains several ideas joined without clear boundaries. Separate the ideas into complete sentences and use appropriate linking expressions. This makes the answer easier to understand and prevents comma splices and fragments.

× Yeah, because I come from China and as well acknowledged by people, this is a big country with a lot of bikes I think in early eighties, our country has like tons of bikes in the streets and that's a totally by country.

✓ Yeah. I come from China, and, as is widely acknowledged, it is a large country with many bicycles. I think that in the early eighties, there were tons of bicycles on the streets, and cycling was very common throughout the country.

Use there were to introduce the existence of many bicycles in the streets. Because bicycles is plural and the statement refers to the past, the correct form is there were, not there was or the incomplete phrase our country has.

× Yeah, because I come from China and as well acknowledged by people, this is a big country with a lot of bikes I think in early eighties, our country has like tons of bikes in the streets and that's a totally by country.

✓ Yeah. I come from China, and, as is widely acknowledged, it is a large country with many bicycles. I think that in the early eighties, there were tons of bicycles on the streets, and cycling was very common throughout the country.

The early eighties is a completed period in the past, so use past forms: there were and was. The present forms come and is are acceptable because they describe your current nationality and a present fact about China.

× Yeah, because I come from China and as well acknowledged by people, this is a big country with a lot of bikes I think in early eighties, our country has like tons of bikes in the streets and that's a totally by country.

✓ Yeah. I come from China, and, as is widely acknowledged, it is a large country with many bicycles. I think that in the early eighties, there were tons of bicycles on the streets, and cycling was very common throughout the country.

Use the definite article the before a specific decade: in the early eighties. The article identifies a particular historical period.

× Yeah, because I come from China and as well acknowledged by people, this is a big country with a lot of bikes I think in early eighties, our country has like tons of bikes in the streets and that's a totally by country.

✓ Yeah. I come from China, and, as is widely acknowledged, it is a large country with many bicycles. I think that in the early eighties, there were tons of bicycles on the streets, and cycling was very common throughout the country.

Use on the streets, not in the streets, when referring to bicycles operating on the surface of roads. Use throughout the country or across the country instead of the incorrect phrase by country.

× Yeah, because I come from China and as well acknowledged by people, this is a big country with a lot of bikes I think in early eighties, our country has like tons of bikes in the streets and that's a totally by country.

✓ Yeah. I come from China, and, as is widely acknowledged, it is a large country with many bicycles. I think that in the early eighties, there were tons of bicycles on the streets, and cycling was very common throughout the country.

As well acknowledged by people is not a natural English expression. Use as is widely acknowledged. Also, totally cannot modify the phrase by country; very common throughout the country expresses the intended meaning naturally.