Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly without an unnecessary opening such as “That’s an interesting question.” Use the past tense consistently: “enjoyed,” not “enjoy,” and complete the final idea by saying when or where you exercised. Also, “ride it around the house” sounds slightly unnatural if you mean riding near your home; use “around my neighborhood” instead. You could connect the reason more naturally with “because” or “which.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I loved riding it around my neighborhood, especially after school. It was a fun way to exercise and spend time outdoors.

提案: State the comparison accurately by using plural nouns: “bikes aren’t as popular as motorbikes.” Avoid joining several ideas with one long sentence; use a linking word such as “for example” after a complete sentence. “Tourist attraction places” is unnatural, so say “tourist attractions” or “popular tourist areas.” Add a specific reason or comparison to make the answer more developed and coherent.

例: To be honest, bikes aren’t as popular as motorbikes in my country. Most people use motorbikes because they are faster and more convenient for commuting. For example, I usually see bicycles only in parks, along the coast, or near popular tourist attractions.

× Moreover, I really enjoy using it because it helps me to exercise during.

✓ Moreover, I really enjoyed using it because it helped me exercise during my childhood.

The student is describing a past experience from childhood, so the past tense should be used: enjoyed and helped. The phrase helped me exercise is also more natural than helped me to exercise, although both forms can be grammatically correct.

× Moreover, I really enjoy using it because it helps me to exercise during.

✓ Moreover, I really enjoyed using it because it helped me exercise during my childhood.

The preposition during must be followed by a noun phrase, such as during my childhood or during my free time. Using during by itself leaves the sentence incomplete.

× To be honest, I think that bike isn't as popular as motorbike because I don't really see people using it in public, for example, I only see people riding bikes around tourist attraction places.

✓ To be honest, I think that bikes aren't as popular as motorbikes because I don't really see people using them in public. For example, I only see people riding bikes around tourist attractions.

When making a general comparison between types of vehicles, use plural countable nouns: bikes and motorbikes. The pronoun them agrees with the plural noun bikes. Tourist attractions is also the natural plural noun phrase in this context.

× To be honest, I think that bike isn't as popular as motorbike because I don't really see people using it in public, for example, I only see people riding bikes around tourist attraction places.

✓ To be honest, I think that bikes aren't as popular as motorbikes because I don't really see people using them in public. For example, I only see people riding bikes around tourist attractions.

The original sentence joins two complete sentences with only a comma, creating a comma splice. Separate the ideas with a full stop and begin the second sentence with For example.