Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid repeating the same idea in the opening and closing. The phrase “about two to three bikes” is slightly unclear; say “two or three bikes” instead. You could also add one specific detail, such as how often you rode the bikes or where you used them. Try to reduce fillers such as “uh” and “umm” to sound more fluent and natural.

例: Yes, I did. When I was about seven or eight, my father bought me two or three bikes as I grew older. I usually rode them around my neighborhood after school, and I really enjoyed exploring the area with my friends.

提案: Begin with a clear opinion, such as “It depends on the area.” The phrase “the city that people are residing” should be replaced with “the city where people live.” Also, “fairy girls” and “official roads” are not appropriate or clear in this context; you may mean “pedestrians” or “traffic” and “major roads.” Organize the answer with a linking word such as “while” or “however,” and give a specific comparison between cities and rural areas. Avoid making the sentence too long by dividing it into two or three sentences.

例: I think it depends on where people live. Bikes are quite popular in smaller towns and rural areas because the roads are less crowded. However, in major cities, many people avoid cycling on busy roads because of heavy traffic and safety concerns.

× Umm, for that I think it depends on the area and the city that people are residing because uh, mostly there are too many fairy girls on the road and bikes are not that popular on the official roads and it might be dangerous.

✓ Umm, for that I think it depends on the area and the city in which people are residing because, uh, mostly there are too many fairy girls on the road, and bikes are not that popular on the official roads, so it might be dangerous.

The verb reside requires the preposition in when referring to the place where people live or stay. Therefore, that people are residing should be changed to in which people are residing. The rest of the sentence has not been changed because the possible vocabulary or style issues do not belong to the specified grammar problem types.