Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid repeating “when I was a child.” Use the past tense consistently, for example, “My father gave me a bike,” and say “at that time” rather than “on that time.” The final sentence is unclear and should be replaced with a specific detail about learning to ride, such as where you practiced or how you felt. Try to reduce fillers such as “uh,” “like,” and “umm.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father gave it to me because I wanted to learn how to ride. I practiced in the park near my house, and I felt very proud when I could ride without help.

提案: Give a complete answer and finish your idea; the response ends abruptly after “they get another.” Use a clear topic sentence followed by one or two supporting reasons. Avoid repeating “kid,” “child,” and “after that,” and replace unclear phrases such as “learn thanks for going out” with natural expressions like “learn to ride” or “travel around their neighborhood.” You could also mention another common use of bikes, such as commuting or exercise.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially among children. Many parents buy their children a bike so they can learn to ride and travel around the neighborhood. Adults also use bikes for exercise and commuting, particularly in cities with heavy traffic.

× My father gave me bike when I was a child.

✓ My father gave me a bike when I was a child.

The singular countable noun bike needs the indefinite article a because the speaker is referring to one nonspecific bike.

× I was a kid on that time.

✓ I was a kid at that time.

At that time is the standard prepositional expression for referring to a particular period or moment in the past. On that time is incorrect in this context.

× So it's a basic thing like first I have to, like bicycle and then bike.

✓ It is a basic progression: first, I learned to ride a bicycle, and then I moved on to a bike.

The original sentence has an incomplete and unclear structure. It needs a clear subject and verb, and the ideas should be connected in a logical sequence.

× So when like there was a kid like a child when children want to learn thanks for like going out, they first like start with bike and after that like they practice on it and after that like by growing age they get another.

✓ When children want to learn to ride and go outside, they usually start with a bike. After that, they practice riding it, and as they grow older, they get a different one.

The original sentence contains several interruptions, repeated words, and incomplete phrases, which make the sentence difficult to understand. Use a clear subject-verb structure and divide the ideas into separate sentences.

× They first start with bike.

✓ They usually start with a bike.

The singular countable noun bike requires the indefinite article a when referring to one bike in general.

× By growing age they get another.

✓ As they grow older, they get a different one.

By growing age is not a natural English expression, and another is incomplete here because it does not clearly identify what is being replaced. As they grow older and a different one provide a clearer sentence structure.