Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly, but use more natural and concise expressions. “Yes, I did” sounds more appropriate than “Yup,” and “my maternal grandma” is unnecessarily formal; “my grandmother” is sufficient. Also, say “a bright pink bike with a few tassels” rather than “a bright coloured pink bike with few tassels.” Add one specific detail about how you used the bike to make the answer more vivid.

例: Yes, I did. My grandmother gave me a bright pink bike with a few tassels when I was about seven. I used to ride it around my neighborhood after school, so I was really attached to it.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, such as “Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country.” Correct the grammar in “Yup's bike are” and add articles in “cars are a bit too expensive.” Use “public transportation” without “the” when referring to it generally, and explain the comparison more naturally. Include a specific example, such as students or commuters using bikes for short journeys.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in smaller cities. Many people use them for short journeys because cars are too expensive for some families, while public transportation can be inconvenient and unreliable. For example, students often cycle to school instead of taking a bus.

× Yup, I did have a bike. In fact, that bike was gifted to me by my maternal grandma and it was a bright coloured pink bike with few tassels on it.

✓ Yup, I did have a bike. In fact, that bike was gifted to me by my maternal grandma, and it was a bright pink bike with a few tassels on it.

In English, adjectives usually follow a specific order. Bright comes before the color pink, so bright pink is the natural order. Also, coloured is unnecessary because pink already identifies the color.

× Yup, I did have a bike. In fact, that bike was gifted to me by my maternal grandma and it was a bright coloured pink bike with few tassels on it.

✓ Yup, I did have a bike. In fact, that bike was gifted to me by my maternal grandma, and it was a bright pink bike with a few tassels on it.

Few usually means not many and has a negative meaning. When referring to a small but sufficient number, use a few. Tassels is a plural countable noun, so a few tassels is correct.

× Yup's bike are used as a primary mode of transportation in my country because cars are bit too expensive for people's budget here. Moreover, the public transportation is not as convenient and efficient as bikes.

✓ Yup, bikes are used as a primary mode of transportation in my country because cars are a bit too expensive for people's budgets here. Moreover, public transportation is not as convenient and efficient as traveling by bike.

The general topic is bicycles, so the plural noun bikes is needed instead of bike. The apostrophe in Yup's is also incorrect here; use Yup, as a short form of yes. People's budgets is more appropriate when referring to the budgets of many people.

× Yup's bike are used as a primary mode of transportation in my country because cars are bit too expensive for people's budget here. Moreover, the public transportation is not as convenient and efficient as bikes.

✓ Yup, bikes are used as a primary mode of transportation in my country because cars are a bit too expensive for people's budgets here. Moreover, public transportation is not as convenient and efficient as traveling by bike.

The plural subject bikes must be followed by the plural verb are. The corrected sentence also uses Yup, rather than Yup's, because Yup is an informal affirmative response, not a possessive form.

× Yup's bike are used as a primary mode of transportation in my country because cars are bit too expensive for people's budget here. Moreover, the public transportation is not as convenient and efficient as bikes.

✓ Yup, bikes are used as a primary mode of transportation in my country because cars are a bit too expensive for people's budgets here. Moreover, public transportation is not as convenient and efficient as traveling by bike.

The expression is a bit, not bit, because bit is a singular countable noun that requires the indefinite article a. Public transportation is generally used as an uncountable idea, so it normally does not need the definite article the in this general statement.

× Yup's bike are used as a primary mode of transportation in my country because cars are bit too expensive for people's budget here. Moreover, the public transportation is not as convenient and efficient as bikes.

✓ Yup, bikes are used as a primary mode of transportation in my country because cars are a bit too expensive for people's budgets here. Moreover, public transportation is not as convenient and efficient as traveling by bike.

The comparison should involve equivalent things or activities. Public transportation is a transportation system, whereas bikes are vehicles. Traveling by bike is an activity, so it creates a clearer and more parallel comparison.