Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and use consistent past tense. Say “I didn’t have a bike” instead of “I don’t have bike,” and “my father gave me a bike” instead of “my father gift me a bike.” Avoid repetition, fillers, and the incomplete ending. Use a clear structure: explain when you received the bike, give the reason, and mention one specific benefit. Also, say “a bike,” “another city,” and “helped me in many ways.”

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was 12. However, when I started ninth grade, I had to move to another city, so my father gave me one. Since then, I’ve used it regularly because it makes travelling around the city much easier and more convenient.

提案: Your answer is relevant and gives two clear reasons, but improve grammatical accuracy and avoid repetition. Say “because many people have financial constraints” or “because bikes are affordable,” rather than “we have affordability problem.” Replace “there are narrow streets” with “many streets are narrow,” and avoid repeating “in our country” and “to travel.” Use linking words such as “Moreover” or “As a result” to connect your ideas naturally.

例: Yes, bikes are extremely popular in my country. Many people choose them because they are affordable, especially compared with cars and public transport. Moreover, a lot of streets are narrow and crowded, so bikes are a convenient way to get around. As a result, they are commonly used for commuting and short trips.

× When I was 12 years old, I don't have bike at that time.

✓ When I was 12 years old, I didn't have a bike at that time.

The sentence refers to a situation in the past, so do not have must be changed to the past form did not have. The auxiliary did is followed by the base form have.

× When I was 12 years old, I don't have bike at that time.

✓ When I was 12 years old, I didn't have a bike at that time.

The singular countable noun bike needs an article. Use a because the bike has not been previously identified.

× Later on, when I get admission in 9th class, I have to move to the other city.

✓ Later on, when I got admission to the ninth grade, I had to move to another city.

The whole story is about the past, so get must become got and have to must become had to.

× I got admission in 9th class.

✓ I got admission to the ninth grade.

The usual preposition after admission in this expression is to, not in. Ninth grade is also a more natural English expression than 9th class in this context.

× My father gift, gift me a bike.

✓ My father gifted me a bike.

The action happened in the past, so the verb must be in the past tense. The correct past form of gift is gifted. Repeating gift is unnecessary.

× From that day I am riding on it.

✓ I have been riding it since that day.

An action that started in the past and continues until now is best expressed with the present perfect continuous, have been riding. Since introduces the starting point. The preposition on is not needed after ride when referring to riding a bike.

× It helps me in lot of ways.

✓ It helps me in a lot of ways.

The quantifying expression a lot of requires the article a before lot.

× It helps me in a lot of ways as.

✓ It helps me in a lot of ways.

As is incomplete and unnecessary at the end of the sentence. Remove it unless it introduces a complete clause, such as as it saves me time.

× Yes, bikes are very popular in our country as we have affordability problem and we in our country there are narrow streets so riding on a bike is very affordable and convenient.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in our country because we have an affordability problem and there are narrow streets. Therefore, riding a bike is very affordable and convenient.

The original sentence contains an incorrectly arranged clause: we in our country there are narrow streets. Use the complete structure there are narrow streets. Dividing the ideas into two sentences also makes the relationship between the reasons clearer.

× We have affordability problem.

✓ We have an affordability problem.

Affordability problem is a singular countable noun phrase, so it needs an article. Use an because affordability begins with a vowel sound.

× Riding on a bike is very affordable and convenient.

✓ Riding a bike is very affordable and convenient.

When ride means use a bicycle, English normally uses ride a bike without the preposition on. Riding on a bike is possible in some contexts, but it is less natural here.

× There are lot of bikes in our country.

✓ There are a lot of bikes in our country.

The expression a lot of requires the article a before lot.

× For that reason there are lot of bikes in our country to to travel, easy to travel.

✓ For that reason, there are a lot of bikes in our country, making travel easy.

The phrases to to travel and easy to travel are repeated and do not form a complete grammatical structure. The participle phrase making travel easy clearly explains the result.