Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly, but avoid repeating the question in the phrase “when I was a child.” Add one specific detail, such as when you received the bike, how often you used it, or where you rode it. This will make your response more engaging and better developed while remaining concise.

例: Yes, I had a small blue bike when I was about seven. I often rode it around my neighborhood after school, and I gradually learned how to ride without training wheels.

提案: Correct the apparent typing error “18” and use more natural expressions: “a form of recreation” instead of “a means of pleasure,” and “a mode of transportation” instead of “it's mode.” Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons and connect them with linking words such as “because” and “in addition.”

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are both a form of recreation and an affordable means of transportation. Many people ride them for exercise, while others use them to commute to work or avoid heavy traffic.

× Yes, 18 bikes are very popular in our country since it's a means of pleasure, at the same time it's mode of transportation of some people.

✓ Yes, 18 bikes are very popular in our country since they are a means of pleasure; at the same time, they are a mode of transportation for some people.

The noun bikes is plural, so the pronoun and verb should also be plural: they are, not it's. Use they when referring to plural nouns.

× Yes, 18 bikes are very popular in our country since it's a means of pleasure, at the same time it's mode of transportation of some people.

✓ Yes, 18 bikes are very popular in our country since they are a means of pleasure; at the same time, they are a mode of transportation for some people.

The singular countable noun mode requires the indefinite article a. Therefore, say a mode of transportation, not mode of transportation.

× Yes, 18 bikes are very popular in our country since it's a means of pleasure, at the same time it's mode of transportation of some people.

✓ Yes, 18 bikes are very popular in our country since they are a means of pleasure; at the same time, they are a mode of transportation for some people.

For is the appropriate preposition when identifying the people who use or benefit from transportation. Say transportation for some people, not transportation of some people.

× Yes, 18 bikes are very popular in our country since it's a means of pleasure, at the same time it's mode of transportation of some people.

✓ Yes, 18 bikes are very popular in our country since they are a means of pleasure; at the same time, they are a mode of transportation for some people.

The original sentence joins two complete clauses with only a comma, creating a comma splice. Use a semicolon, a full stop, or a suitable conjunction to connect the clauses correctly.