Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid repeating the same idea. Use the natural expression “when I was a child” instead of “when I was in my childhood.” The phrase “the bike was in a bike tube” is unclear, and “we passed last year” should be “he passed away last year.” Organize the answer with a clear main idea followed by one or two relevant details, and avoid ending with an unfinished sentence.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My grandfather gave it to me, and I really enjoyed riding it around my neighborhood. Sadly, he passed away last year, so the bike has special sentimental value for me. I still have it today.

提案: Begin with a clear answer such as “Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country.” Use “bikes,” not “whites,” and make the grammar accurate: “they are environmentally friendly” and “they provide people with exercise.” Connect your reasons with linking words such as “firstly,” “moreover,” and “for example.” Replace “doing it to universities” with “riding their bikes to university,” and remove the unclear final point about food unless you explain that cycling is a cheaper form of transportation.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among students. Firstly, they are environmentally friendly and provide people with regular exercise. Moreover, cycling is cheaper than driving or taking public transportation. For example, I often see university students riding their bikes to campus.

× I had a bike when I was in my childhood.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child.

Use as a child or when I was a child, not in my childhood, when describing someone’s age or life period in this context.

× The bike was also given by my grandfather, which sadly we passed last year.

✓ The bike was also given to me by my grandfather, who sadly passed away last year.

Use who, not which, because the relative pronoun refers to a person. Also, passed away is the natural expression for a person’s death. The phrase given to me clearly identifies the recipient.

× I had a bike still.

✓ I still had a bike.

The adverb still usually comes before the main verb had. This gives the sentence the intended meaning that the speaker continued to possess a bike at that time.

× Still I have a bike, but.

✓ I still have the bike.

The original sentence is incomplete because but introduces an unfinished contrast. Remove but or complete the contrasting clause. Also, place still before the main verb.

× I think bikes are quite popular in my country because of its benefits.

✓ I think bikes are quite popular in my country because of their benefits.

Bikes is plural, so the possessive pronoun must also be plural: their, not its.

× They are very friendly to the environment, also give fitness to the people who ride bikes.

✓ They are very friendly to the environment and also provide fitness to the people who ride them.

Use and to connect two benefits in the same sentence. The verb provide is more natural than give with fitness, and them avoids unnecessarily repeating bikes.

× In my daily life I see lots of students are doing it to universities by bike.

✓ In my daily life, I see lots of students going to university by bike.

After see, use an object followed by a present participle phrase, such as students going. The phrase doing it to universities is not grammatically or logically structured. University is generally used without an article when referring to attending university in general.

× Also, foods are very cheaper.

✓ Also, food is much cheaper.

Very cannot normally modify a comparative adjective such as cheaper. Use much cheaper instead. Food is usually an uncountable noun when referring to food in general, so use food rather than foods.

× Also, foods are very cheaper.

✓ Also, food is much cheaper.

The comparative adjective cheaper should be modified by much, not very. A comparative form is used to compare prices with another option, such as traveling by car or public transportation.