Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer more directly and avoid repetition and self-correction. Use natural expressions such as “ride a tricycle” rather than “drive in a tricycle,” and say “the housing estate where I lived” instead of “the estate which where I live in.” Clarify the main reason in a logical order: first state that you did not own a bike, then mention your tricycle and explain where you were allowed to ride it. Avoid mixing “tricycles” and “bicycles” when referring to the same vehicle.

例: No, I never owned a bike when I was a child. However, I had a small tricycle and used to ride it around the housing estate where I lived. Children were not allowed to cycle on the nearby roads, so I could only use it in the courtyard.

提案: Give a complete answer because the response ends abruptly after “a great.” State your opinion clearly and support it with one or two specific reasons. Avoid redundancy in “large vehicles and also private vehicles”; “heavy traffic and many private cars” is more natural. Use a clear linking phrase such as “This is because” and complete the consequence, for example, “riding in the city can be dangerous.”

例: I don’t think bikes are particularly popular in Hong Kong, especially in the urban areas. This is because the city is crowded, and the roads are usually full of buses, trucks, and private cars. As a result, cycling can be dangerous and inconvenient, although it is more common in the New Territories and on dedicated cycle paths.

× the estate which where I live in doesn't allow kids to drive, uh, to ride them tricycles on bicycles within the vicinity

✓ the estate where I live doesn't allow kids to ride their tricycles in the vicinity

The relative clause incorrectly combines which, where, and the preposition in. Use where by itself to introduce a place relative clause: the estate where I live. The repeated correction and hesitation should also be removed to form a clear sentence.

× the estate which where I live in doesn't allow kids to drive, uh, to ride them tricycles on bicycles within the vicinity

✓ the estate where I live doesn't allow kids to ride their tricycles in the vicinity

Them is an object pronoun and cannot correctly describe ownership before the noun tricycles. Use the possessive pronoun their because the tricycles belong to the kids.

× I think it is not likely because Hong Kong is a really packed city where the streets are filled with large vehicles and also private vehicles.

✓ I do not think bikes are likely to be popular because Hong Kong is a really packed city where the streets are filled with large vehicles and private vehicles.

The question asks about bikes, so the subject should remain bikes rather than the unclear pronoun it. Using bikes makes the reference clear and avoids a pronoun-antecedent problem.

× So if one were to ride a bike within Hong Kong, it exposes them to a great

✓ So, if one were to ride a bike in Hong Kong, one would be exposed to great danger.

The phrase if one were to describes a hypothetical situation, so the result clause should use would, not the present-tense verb exposes. Keep the modal structure consistent: if one were to ride, one would be exposed.

× So if one were to ride a bike within Hong Kong, it exposes them to a great

✓ So, if one were to ride a bike in Hong Kong, one would be exposed to great danger.

The person riding the bike receives the danger rather than actively exposing someone else to it. Therefore, the passive form would be exposed is appropriate. Also, the original transcript ends with the incomplete phrase a great; great danger completes the meaning.